Store Closure

Something that I always need is closure. Not that I always get it but it's great when it's acquired. After a therapist session, I've actually wanted to see the place where I worked at years ago just for closure.

I don't know, it felt weird at first, being in the same place after 4 years of not stepping foot in the same mall. Being back in the same mall was actually taking my time and browsing places I haven't been to in years at my own leisure. It was genuinely a great feeling to not feel rushed.

Looking at the store made me realize that I'm not who I was before. I'm not in that life anymore where I loathed customers coming in 5 minutes before closing and then they bitch about why I'm getting ready to close. I don't have to deal with gross individuals who constantly return clothes way after the return period. I don't have to deal with wardrobe people buying a ton of clothes for a TV show then returning them to ruin my numbers.

The best part was I don't have to deal with horrible management. I hated working with my manager, who would call me on my days of to talk for no reason, ruining any and all peace I have. I hated working with my coworkers there. I liked working alone.

I liked not working retail anymore, especially not at this particular store.

Do the "Act like you never met me"

 Good afternoon, everyone! It is currently December before Christmas and it's almost the end of the year!

LET'S GO! Another year almost over! Time to start all over again in 2026.

I mean, 2025 has been a learning experience more than ever for me since I chose to go back to therapy after 3 years. It's been something I look forward throughout the week. Nothing like having someone to actually listen to you, give you advice on how to deal with your bullshit, and actually tell you that your insecurities are normal and actually valid.

Something I always say is that talking helps. Talking it out with someone helps you verbalize your thoughts and lets you bounce it off of someone. Talking to a therapist is a way better thing to do because that's their specialty. They're there to help you understand what you're thinking and helping you decide to see it another way.

My therapist also helped me try to do things I used to love doing. It's great to actually care about stuff again, despite how other people feel about me.

Now everyone do the "Act like you never met me"!

Now That We Don't Talk

The thing about not wanting to talk to someone yourself is that you have the option of changing that. The onus is on you if you decided to stop not talking to someone. You can take forever not talking to someone and basically leaving them metaphorically dead to you and you alone.

You put up a wall strong enough and it keeps that person out. Eventually they'll take the hint when you want to take that wall down. Then the onus is on them if they want to actually talk to you again. Not that there's anything wrong with that, really. People are allowed to pick and choose who they let in through their walls.

Ah well, it was worth a shot. shrug

With Thanks To My Teachers

On Tuesday, I had my last day alone in the classroom before the disrespectful classmates came back for the last two days of class. I like to think that Tuesday, January 17, was my final day in school. I've said my goodbyes. I've taken in the moments in the empty classroom. A classroom I won't see again soon.

My teacher was there on campus surprisingly so I was able to thank her properly for all her help. I couldn't have made it this far without her. The back row of classroom was considered cursed because the people I shared a row with had either quit or got kicked out. It was depressing for me but my teacher was happy that I stayed and made it through. I told her how nervous I was to move on, how sad I was that I wanna know what happens next. She said she wouldn't have given me all these tasks in class if she didn't think I can do it. She believed in me when I know I couldn't and I consider that a kind gesture.

Today, January 18, I properly offered my gratitude to another teacher. She called me a kind person, which I appreciate. Sometimes I don't feel it but I try to be kind whenever I can. "Always try to be nice but never fail to be kind," I said. I told her that I was thankful I had her as a teacher. She basically said that the best thing for a teacher was to watch their students flourish. I thanked her for being patient with me and how I can never thank her enough.

I could never thank these teachers enough. They changed my life. They taught me everything I know in this new career I'm taking. I wish I won't disappoint them.

Being Done With School

 

Everything ends and it's always sad, but everything begins again, too. And that's always happy. Be happy.
- 12th Doctor

Part of me is sad that school is ending. I mean, it was only a 5-month course and it was so good to get A's again. It's been years since I've done well in school. This is just a step to a better career. I had great teachers that helped me out so much. I'm sad about my routine being over. Graduation goggles, as they call it.

I could do so much more. So much more. But this is what I get. My reward. Well, it's not fair!
- 10th Doctor

I had high hopes of making good connections with these people I called classmates. Despite my optimism for new social links, they have been disappointing, to say the least.

 I wish it could've gone differently with these people but at the same time, I dislike everything about them for how they treated me. I honestly can't stand them hindering class with their bullshit, if I'm being honest (and I always am).

I'll Never Get Back What I Lost Track Of

There was a time when I was hoping to have a better friendship with this classmate who I used to like. It's been a while since I actually liked someone and had a reason to be in the same room as them. Unfortunately, they never meet my self-imposed expectations 

My time with this collective group of disappointments is coming to an end and I know it could've been better. I could've done so much more. So much more. And this is my reward. I can't say it's not fair but I dislike it. I didn't do a goddamn thing.

There was a point where I expected things to go differently. It was in the program's early stages, and I was still trying to be this friendly person who introduced himself to everyone because I wanted to make connections for this new career I was pursuing. As time went on, they just stopped acknowledging me for some reason. I still don't know why and I resent a lot of them for it.

Well, let's get the dramatic description of how I saw things and how I expected something out of the way again.

---

I finished the quiz that day, half an hour early, and had lots of time to calm down. I wanted to calm down and relax somewhere. I didn't know anyone else that well yet so those storylines and social links haven't started yet. I remember it would've been a great opportunity to talk to the girl I like, the one I have a big crush on, but I could never get any opportunities. I sat on this yellow bench outside my classroom. Not the best seat but it'll do. I put on my earphones and listen to some HAIM. The song, "Lost Track". Very appropriate.

♫ Mastered my own luck

But it wasn't easy

I'm tryin' to feel alright

Around all these people

I try, but I'm just numb

This time ♫

As the song played through my earphones, I just thought, well, nothing's gonna happen today so might as well just stay in my own head.

Then without warning, she comes from around the corner, finishing a phone call. I recognized that blonde hair anywhere. As she sat down on the same bench, I thought, this must be a joke, right?

A chance to talk to someone I admire just came out of nowhere. How often would that happen? 

"Oh hey," I said casually. "Everything okay?"

She smiled and nodded. "Everything's good. How are you?"

"I'm okay, just vibing," I said jokingly, trying to be a cool guy. "So tell me more about your life story."

She told me more about herself, which I've wanted to hear for several weeks now. It was nice to know more about this person through casual, lighthearted conversation. We exchanged details about our college lives, what we did in the past, and what were our backgrounds like.

She said she liked having her friend around so she can be humble. "I need her to humble me," she remarked. To this day, I still don't know what she meant by that.

Her friend came out and said they'd get lunch together. As disappointed as I was that it had to end, I'm glad it happened. "I'll see you around," I said.

"See you later, Ralph!" she replied, walking away, drifting into conversation with her friend.

That was a nice surprise, I thought. Can't wait till the next time.

I put my earphones back on and resume playing the song I was listening to.

♫ Meeting you caused a chain reaction (chain reaction)

I'll take the smallest crumb

But I'll never get back what I lost track of ♫

---

I remember writing a ton of these back in 2011, dramatizing my interactions with the women I've liked throughout the years. I always like putting it all in writing because I know I'll forget these moments in the future.

I'll admit that I really felt nice about that moment on the bench. Looking back, once again, it could've been so much more.

But You Make The Same Old Mistakes

The Doctor: You can't see me, can you? You look at me, and you can't see me. Have you any idea what that's like? I'm not on the phone, I'm right here, standing in front of you. Please, just, just see me.

I'll admit I'm a dramatic man. I've done stuff to the point of insanity. Maybe it's the lack of interaction. Maybe it's how I find everyone disappointing lately. Maybe it's just me wanting to be seen by someone but really, it sucks not being able to connect with someone I'm infatuated with. There, I admit it. I make it plain and painfully obvious sometimes. I'm like an open book on a billboard.

It started at the bookstore. Last day to buy books before school starts. This fantastic-looking lady is buying books before me and sure enough, I heard her buy the same books I needed. 

The dramatic and romantic part of me instantly liked her. You know what? I can set the scene. I was a literature major after all. And you know what? Lemme tell you something dramatic in a way that only I can, literature major skills and depression combined. Usually, those work hand in hand with each other.

---

I arrived on campus a quarter to 10, not realizing that the bookstore opened at 10am. I walked into the VCC bookstore, hoping to find the books I needed. I overheard other people in the bookstore talking about books. Specifically, books I needed because I heard the term "legal office procedures" being said.

There she was. 

Oh lord, why? I thought. She looks fantastic. Absolutely fantastic.

She buys the books I needed, and she inadvertently worried me that she bought the last set I need.

Thankfully she didn't. She and I stood side by side in the cashier line and I got curious. "Hey, are you also taking the legal administrative assistant course?" I asked.

She smiled and said, "Yeah, you too, I assume?"

That smile is infectious, I'll admit. I finally had a smile on my face that day. "I am, yeah, so I guess we'll be classmates."

We each paid for our books and she headed out the exit first. I stayed behind to catch a final view of this woman.

"I'll see you in class!" she says with a smile.

"I'll see you soon... classmate."

The song "New Person, Same Old Mistakes" by Tame Impala plays in the background as she walks away.

♬ Feel like a brand-new person

(But you make the same old mistakes)

Well, I don't care I'm in love

(Stop before it's too late, I know) ♬

---

I know that's not exactly how it went and I had to cut a few parts out such as dialogue and other places where I saw her but that's the gist of it.

But as time went on, it's taken a toll on my mental health, this lack of acknowledgment and social link progress. I admit I expected too much. I know I'm never gonna see her again. I just need to tell her that I liked her just for my own closure because I sometimes think I'll regret it if I don't say it. I can't promise myself it'll be good or turn out well but knowing how I can't shut up about it mentally, it'll be... fantastic.

And that's how my dramatic mind works.

 

Rebecca

Look, I know you're never gonna read this but this is more for me and it's something I just need to say into the ether. Let me be selfish for once and let me not do things to make you happy. Because I really was happy to know you. And I won't forget the nights in New West. I wonder if it could've been so much more.

I only contacted you again recently to see if you were single. But you're not. And you're married now. And I couldn't accept that and have you in my life again at the same time because I know I'd be jealous.

Yet, I did miss you for a time. You taught me a lot about responsibility and accountability. You taught me a lot about what women go through and you taught me to be a better person. You got me into Grey's Anatomy. Without you, I wouldn't have binged 16 seasons of the show. I enjoyed watching it with you and I'll never forget that.

That's how I want to remember you. The girl I really liked who I enjoyed meeting up at the pier in New West. The girl who at one point would drop everything for because I wanted to cheer you up. Everything was okay because I was talking to you. That's all I have now.

I'm genuinely... not happy for you. I'm not happy for you at all. I'm not happy you're married. That's the selfish part of me. I could say that I am happy and "I wish you and your American husband the best" but I'm not because I don't feel that at all. I'm not happy for you, as petty and selfish and bitter as it is. I genuinely had feelings for you you but sometimes things aren't meant to be and the storyline doesn't play out. 

To paraphrase a Doctor, I just wanted you to see me. You never saw me. You looked at me and you couldn't see me. Do you have any idea what that's like? I'm not on the phone anymore. I was right there. Standing in front of you, telling you "Please just see me."

Clearly, that was a mistake on my part because I'm not allowed to be happy. I'm selfish, I know.

Goodbye, Rebecca.

From Getting That Judging Look Last Wednesday

Classmates, I'd like to thank you for welcoming me with open arms but... you didn't.

I remember last Wednesday and I got no eye contact when I said hello to the useless blonde hairballs I call classmates. I remember walking in, saying hello to one of them and I get a judging look for no reason. So I see how it is.

If you all are at fault, fuck you. If you're not, I apologize.

What did I ever do in this world to deserve empty-headed, hollow, indifferent, fucking dumb fuck classmates to not acknowledge me? For what? Not a goddamn thing. 

I'm old, I'm tired, I'm depressed, and I work with children.

Yes, this is my media scrum.

That's Gotta Be Cane

 "So Ralphy, why are you walking with a cane this week?"

I'm glad you asked, Ralph! I did cool guy shit and I'm paying for it.

So in front of the college building I go to, there's a bench that's close to the sidewalk. I've always wanted to jump onto it and jump off because why not? Back story, I like how I dressed on that Monday. Suit jacket with a hoodie and a sport shirt, jeans, and dress shoes. 

I can already hear a black cat say "Looking cool, Joker!"

So I thought, "Why not? I look good. Let's do this." So I jump on the bench, then off it. Then BAM! Dress shoes don't really have a lot of bounce to them, wooden heel and all. There was a moment of regret there because I felt my left heel hurt for a bit. I thought I could walk it off for the rest of the day, even going to the mall and buying a new sport jacket too.

Going home, that's when I felt it. My left heel hurt like hell and I felt like I couldn't walk. I knew that I wouldn't walk as well as I wanted without some support. So I bought a cane.

Cool guy getting cool guy things

The cane that I chose was buried under a batch of ugly floral or camouflaged canes that would look so out of place anywhere with anyone under the age of 95. Even the elderly from the 70's would say "tone it back on the color, maaaaan!" 

Honestly, I loved using it. I mean, it was still painful as hell but I felt cool using it. With the cane, I wanted to match it with outfits and get a good look out of it. Simply using a cane with a hoodie and sweatpants looks like I'm just too fat to walk. With an overcoat, it just feels class, or may I say, cool dude shit.

"Bring me the Batman!"

A classmate of mine said I looked like The Penguin from the Batman comics, which I still find cool, surprisingly. All I needed was a monocle and I'm set!

So yes, that's my story of why I walked with a cane for a week. Cool guy shit.

For The People I Knew

Lately, it's not been good socially. With school happening and work on the weekends, I can admit I haven't been social and getting new social links nowadays. Classmates are good, not great, I'll admit. Friendships could be better but I don't know. I'm a slow starter. It's not always clicking as it once did with certain people.

Speaking of certain people, the phrase "people come and go" come to heart. Personally, it's hard for me to keep people around. I admit I'm not a good person. I'm trying. I really am. And I don't know how to get better at it. A part of me is good at self-sabotage, ruining things easily because I feel like I don't deserve good things. I thought this part of me had been suppressed because I'm too good at suppressing emotions until they burst out. Thank you, Vancouver Community College 6th floor stairwell, for being my safe space. I refer to it as "my stairwell" during counseling.

If Grey's Anatomy has elevators, Ralphy has the stairwell

It's easy to tell someone they do good. It's easy to tell someone that they're a good person. The hard part is that person has to believe it. That person has to understand that all they do is good and that people are right.

I've lost people. And surely, I'll keep losing people. It doesn't get easier. It just hurts less and you get used to it. But it doesn't stop.

Mental Note I'm Posting Online For Some Reason

I just wanted to tell you that I liked you. Like, a lot. I've liked you since the beginning of the program. And I know I'm not gonna see you again. Not like this, not with this damn old face. And before I go, I just wanted to tell you that you were fantastic. Absolutely fantastic. And you know what?

...So was I.

School, You See?

After quitting my old job back in February for reasons (IE emergency room, playing "Chasing Cars"-in-my-head-related reasons), I didn't work for several months. What I wanted to do was find another job but I was scared of going back to my old ways and possibly relapsing again, leading to another trip to the psych ward.

"If I lay here~ If I just lay here~"

I remember going home from the hospital and my sister suggested that I go back to school. It was a point of contention with my old manager who kept meddling in my personal life. "Go back to school or stay in this store forever." The problem is that I liked working in that store until he came back and was just insufferable out of nowhere. He wanted me to go to school with him, but I didn't and he got mad and attacked me personally. I didn't consider him anything other than a work friend so why bother? This tough love shit was already exhausting and burning me out. 

This led to an existential crisis that ended with me in the psych ward, as mentioned before. It wasn't the best experience. The food was good though. Hospital shepherd's pie? Surprisingly tasty. The walk of shame going out? Surprisingly not fun.

I didn't wanna stay in the same job forever and I felt trapped in this shitty, high-pressure job for several years. I felt like I couldn't make the best of it any longer but I tried and it burned me out too much. I wanted to at least have a good time with it but with the amount of annoying work and disregard for mental health the job gave me, it wasn't worth it.

It was when I had to run everything by myself that gave me the time of my life. It was great. They couldn't take that away from me. I loved it because it gave me a glimpse of what I wanted eventually. However, I couldn't stay there in a toxic environment.

After 6 months of not working and basically enjoying life, figuring out who my real friends are, figuring out who my good friends are, I felt like I regenerated to a new self. 

"KIDNEYS! I got new kidneys! I don't like the color."

There was a time I was very, very anxious to go out because I knew what I was capable of doing now. But I feel like going back to school was a good step forward. I had my months of recovery with no work and I loved it, but now it's time to actually make a step forward.

I wanna feel good about myself. And I don't know how.

So far, I've been trying my best to actually be a good student. With getting A's, which I never got a lot of in high school or college, I wanted to be consistent and maybe then, I'll feel good about myself. But so far, that's not working.

Philippines 2022

It's been 4 years since I've set foot in the Philippines again. I was supposed to visit in 2020 but COVID-19 happened so I ended up going to North Carolina. Not that there's anything wrong with that. In fact, it was my first time visiting the US. I liked going there because of the clubs and seeing my cousins who I haven't seen in more than 5 years. But the problem was that it wasn't home. 

I was trying to do a multiple post series of my trip back in 2018 but I just couldn't find the words anymore, to be honest. It was tough, and I just didn't know how to write it all down.

Instead of a 14-hour flight like before, going to the US was a 6-hour flight. Personally, I love long flights and I think flights should be at least 8 hours. It just lets me relax and unwind while sitting uncomfortably in a seat with the possibility of being woken up by turbulence. I joke but I really like the plane experience.

It was great. This trip was better mentally because it was the first vacation I've had with no emotional baggage from ex-friends. I was already off work since February and one of the reasons I left was because they wouldn't let me take a month off to go to the Philippines. Excuse me if we were understaffed but I was able to do it myself. But I digress.

The only thing I wasn't looking forward to was the weather. It was way too hot and humid. I remember sweating like a roasting pig when I first got out of the airport. I immediately missed the Canadian fall weather. The big difference is that Canadian summers are uncomfortably dry and it's horrible. The problem with the Philippine weather I encountered was that it's always hot. It would rain hard and it would still be hot. Even at night, it was still hot. Maybe I'm just used to Canadian weather.

I'm always a sucker for malls. There's a mall named SM Fairview and the last time I was in the Philippines, it was just a rundown mall. That's apparently changed in the years since because I absolutely adore that mall. It used to be dark and unappealing to the eyes but surprisingly, it's been fun! Except for the lower ground floor where people line up by the dozen to a chicken restaurant for the unlimited rice. I perfectly understand why and I don't blame them. I'd do it too. I'd bring a fanny pack just to take home extra rice.

Another mall I loved going to since 2018 was Ever Gotesco. It's an old mall with lights being dim, and the department store looks like it's over 50 years old. It definitely needs a makeover but how do you redesign a department store without losing revenue, right? There are also stalls on the lower ground floor where you can buy cheap or knockoff clothing and accessories. Of course, being someone who looks for drip, I bought a Louis Vitton bag for 8 dollars. It's my favorite souvenir from that mall.

At the house my family stayed in, I met a stray dog that was brought in by the maids. His name is Bruno. I kinda regret not bringing him to Canada but I know I wouldn't be able to take care of him well. I remember he had worms so deworming him would cost more here. I miss him. He's grown so much now, barely recognizable to others but I know that nose anywhere. Bruno was the one that made me wanna get a pet so eventually, I adopted my pet cat named Chandler. I appreciate what Bruno was to me.

I think it was the first time I didn't cry at the airport after a trip. I feel like it's because I had such a good time and I know I'll be back again soon. The problem that I have now is my grandmother passed away recently and this was the last time I saw her. I promised to see her next year but I didn't mean it in these circumstances. 

Greeting Cards In Transit

As I type this, I'm currently in Raleigh, North Carolina. It's actually my first time in the United States so of course I go to the south, instead of a busy city like New York or Los Angeles. I don't think anyone ever chooses to go to Raleigh as a vacation spot but I personally love how spacious and suburban it is.

I've been exploring shops around here and one of them was Family Dollar. Okay, to get it out of the way, just because it says "dollar" on the store name does not immediately make it a dollar store where everything is a dollar. What caught my eye was the greeting card section. Sure, it looks like any other greeting card section in any store but it's my first encounter with one in America so that's something, right? Right?

To me, greeting cards are the simplest and easiest way to get something for someone with minimal effort. It's something premade - you didn't have to make the designs or the intro spiel. You just have to buy it, write something generic, and make it seem like you tried. 7 dollars? Done, happy birthday. I've personally done better things with a greeting card just to make it worth the hassle of sending it.

You know what? The perfect way to describe my experience with greeting cards is by using a stolen writing style of a series I used to write about nearly a decade ago on my Tumblr.

How I Never Met Your Mother Part [?] - Happy Happy Sappy

Kids, in the spring of 2019, I had a brilliant idea to send my best friend at the time a birthday gift. I wanted to do something special for her since she was my best friend and all. Let's call her Mary Beth - she is pretty southern after all. At the time, Mary Beth and I were the best of friends and I absolutely loved her.

It was Mary Beth's birthday in the end of March and I was too far to even come to her house. So I thought I'd do the next best thing and send something along the lines of a care package. To keep it a surprise, I just told Mary Beth that I'd be sending her a greeting card. Nothing too special.

I thought I'd try to be nice and give her a gift for her birthday. It's not much but I thought it was more than enough. I remember putting two PS4 games that she'd never played before - Final Fantasy XV and Uncharted: The Nathan Drake Collection. I put the artbook and soundtrack from my Life is Strange collectors edition because that was a game she and I loved.

Heck, I even threw in a Life is Strange shirt that I bought from Hot Topic at the time. I remember getting two other shirts but I have no memory of what the designs were.

My favorite addition was the book "How Not To Write A Novel", a book that I love and is very useful for writers. As a joke, I left in an advertisement card for the WWE Network in the pages. I remember using that as a bookmark. Mary Beth told me she found it hilarious and couldn't stop laughing in front of her sister and grandmother. 

The finishing touch would be the actual card. I remember choosing it from the drug store before work and not knowing what to say until I had to actually pack up the box and send it. Now, in the years since I've written it, I don't remember what I wrote on it. I just knew it sparked a reaction from Mary Beth. 

I remember her sending me a message on my way to work.

Mary Beth: This is not a fiery card.

[Kids, she didn't say "fiery"]

Ralph: How so? Wait, did you open it?

Mary Beth: I had to! My grandma brought it over and was insisting I open it.

Ralph: Hey, I had to surprise you somehow! Love you, buddy!

Mary Beth: You made me cry! In the years that I've been alive, no card has ever made me cry so congratulations and forget you!

[Kids, she didn't say "forget"]

It was amusing to think that a friend of mine cried over a greeting card for her birthday. And kids, this was one of the best memories I had with Mary Beth. This was when her family started knowing about me and how I was her best friend. It was great until it all faded away. But that's a story for another time.

Philippines 2018 - Two Seats For Me

Before going to the Philippines, I remember being miserable. I was going through some stupid stuff like... emotions and stress from work. I got drunk two nights before my flight on vodka and Coke Zero because I had too much on my mind. I wish I had cranberry juice instead but hey, I mixed what I had. Strangely, the lack of hangover made me watch PewDiePie videos on my PS4.

Drunken mess aside, I wanted to go to the Philippines to be happy and not miserable if that made any sense. My mother and my sister couldn't go for reasons beyond their control so it was just me and my brother on the flight. We had to cancel the first set of tickets we had booked with China Airlines, which means we booked more expensive tickets with Cathay Pacific. We're big dudes and we had a row close to the window. 

I love my Christmas weekend~!

I recently got a three-day weekend from December 24 to 26. I've been celebrating it on my own because my family doesn't do Christmas anymore because reasons. See, instead of just being miserable and sleeping as usual, I took the time to make it worthwhile, at the cost of my wallet.

I did my Christmas shopping before the weekend so of course it's more geeky stuff for me to use.

THE SOUND WILL RIIIIIISE!

I bought a cool speaker that's modeled after an NES controller from EB Games so that's something for my laptop really. Downside of that is it has 4 grills but only one side has the sound. It's still mighty loud but I thought it'd be 4 sides of sound. The best way to test speakers is by playing promos of The Ascension.

I also bought a kids replica of a WWE United States Championship belt. Why? Because I love wrestling, goddamn it. This is only my second belt ever. I gave my first belt which was a WWE Tag Team Title replica to a friend of mine back in 2013 as a sign of awesome friendship.

I stayed an extra hour at work because it got busy and my boss told me too. Not that I didn't like it since it's still money, right? Gotta pay for more title belts somehow.

After leaving work, I wanted to do some window shopping. I didn't wanna buy anything else though. I just wanted to look around for fun before my 3 day weekend of self-destruction fun. 

Sprott Shaw College

If you had told me three years ago that I would be graduating college in Canada, I would’ve laughed at you and said you were genuinely insane. Three years ago, I thought I’d graduate with a degree in literature. I thought I’d be writing the next series of novels that will be turned into big movies. “Take that, The Hunger Games,” I would’ve said mockingly.

Now, I’ve never actually planned on enrolling in Sprott Shaw College but I did see the ads on transit. Every time I saw those ads, I had two thoughts running in my mind:

1) “I’m never going there because I don’t know where their campuses are.”

 2) “Why the heck do they have ads everywhere? I keep seeing purple and blue on buses now.”

That didn’t stop me from enrolling anyway.

On August 27, 2013, I was browsing online through several colleges that offered hospitality management courses, curious as to what my options were. Among those choices was Sprott Shaw College or “SPROUT Shaw College” as I called it before actually reading the name clearly. I asked a question on their website, expecting to receive a generic machine-generated response in my spam folder. The next day, I got a phone call from Sprott Shaw College telling me that they booked me for an appointment.

“Hi Ralph, this is from Sprott Shaw College. We booked you for an informational interview at the Vancouver campus this Friday.”

My initial reaction was “WHAT?!” followed by “I was planning on eating pizza and Chinese food that day but I guess that’s out of the window now, eh?” I didn’t want to be rude so I just agreed to it. I had to go to a campus where I have never seen before in Vancouver, a city that I could easily get lost in. However, instead of not showing up for an informational interview, I thought it could be nice to at least be aware of what I could be missing out on. It wasn’t like I was going to actually enroll there. Haha. Ha. Ha....

Now, I wasn’t really sure at first on whether or not it was a good idea to enroll in a college that I had little to no knowledge about so I wanted to see what it was like. It was a different atmosphere from what I was used to. I was used to big, open universities with hundreds of classrooms in a dozen buildings. Sprott Shaw College Vancouver had a dozen rooms in an office building. I felt claustrophobic at first because I missed seeing shades of greenery out the window instead of disheartening gray buildings. I wanted to back out as soon as I entered the building.

However, I was told what possible jobs I could get hired for if I took a course with Sprott Shaw. I wanted to do something in my life and a literature degree was not the door to open for that path. I wanted the path to hospitality management and Sprott Shaw College was going to show me the door.

My patience is tested every day. I was promised that everyone spoke English but on my first day, the first thing I hear was everyone else in the classroom not speaking English at all. At first, I was absolutely annoyed that no one wanted to speak English. It had come to a point where the entire room was speaking in languages other than English despite the school having an English-only policy. “If none of you want to speak English,” I thought, “I’m going play loud videos of someone speaking English really fast.” And I did. I played Zero Punctuation, a series of videos from the internet where the critic speaks in a disturbingly fast voice just to annoy people who didn’t want to speak English in class.

I’ve also had rough encounters with poorly chosen group mates for presentations.

One particular group mate drove me off the wall for a presentation due for Technologies class. The project was due in ten days but the first five days were spent faffing about and going in circles. The particular classmate wanted something specifically done in what she wants but what she wants was unreasonable, insane, and utterly pointless in the end.

So what I did was basically go behind this faux leader’s back and make a presentation of my own for everyone else to present, just so it can be done and we can move on. I had to spend 5 hours editing and recording videos followed by 2 hours editing the presentation while doing laundry at night. When I showed it to everyone, the particular classmate basically said that it was wrong according to her vision and it was at that point where I had to scream in the hallways just to get the hate out of my system. Eventually, I was so fed up that the people at the front desk and the director saw me screaming in the hallways.

Despite this extremely negative experience, it never occurred again. I never had that particular useless classmate ever again and she never got honors for her bossiness. I did my best to be the best and it worked well for me without screaming.

I never wanted to give up. I didn’t want to cut my study of hospitality management just because I lost faith in it. I didn’t want to quit two courses in one lifetime. I’m not that big of a quitter. As the months went by, I was finally going to attend my college graduation. All my hard work had led to a graduation ceremony that I thought I was going to miss because the poster said May 22 and I misread it as March 22. I thought “Oh, I missed it. Oh well. Maybe next year.” However, after noticing that no one was removing the posters, it had come to my attention that it was actually May 22 and I thought “OH MY GOD! GRADUATION!” It was a graduation that I thought I would never have since I never finished my college degree in the Philippines. I thought I would never experience a college graduation in my entire life.

The one problem I came across was that the blue graduation gown couldn’t fit me. I looked like a potato wrapped in adhesive tape. Somehow, I’ve built up enough goodwill from the staff that they ordered a new graduation gown for me free of charge. I told them that they must’ve stolen bed sheets from a children’s hospital just to make the graduation gown fit me.

Sprott Shaw College has given me opportunities that I never would’ve gotten in my old university. I could never say that I had the opportunity to be a contender to be the valedictorian for batch 2014 yet Sprott Shaw College proved me otherwise. Sure, I wasn’t able to get it for some reason but to be able to say I was very close to being valedictorian is still a great achievement. The first paragraph of this was actually part of my graduation speech that was rejected.

I would never have had that opportunity in my old university, in my old life. Never could I have said the words “My graduation speech” in a sentence without the phrase “Does not exist” if I were still in my old university. I consider my experience at Sprott Shaw College to be the right path that will lead me to something even greater in life. For that, I’m thankful for every second that I have spent there. I never regretted a single moment in that college and I would always be grateful.

Video Game Thoughts - Grand Theft Auto V

Another reason why I'm not doing a lot of blog posts or videos. Grand Theft Auto V is something that I wasn't looking forward to since Grand Theft Auto IV was a horrible gritty game with horrible driving physics. Driving cars there is "realistic", if "realistic" meant that the cars would handle like the wheels were dipped in caramel and the road was coated in butter.

Surprisingly enough, the game was on sale on Boxing Week 2013 so it went to 40 dollars instead of 60. I traded in some games I knew I wouldn't play in a million years and I got that price down to 20. 20 dollars for GTA V is a hell of a deal.

I was not expecting to enjoy GTA V, especially the online aspect that came with the game. Look, here's my character, who's supposed to look like a cross between me and Steven Seagal.

I even play with my friend Raffy. Here's a picture of his character dressed like an elf.

Overall, I'm loving GTA V so far. Sure, I haven't finished it and some of the missions make me want to strangle the characters (Fuck you, Tonya!) but hey, it's the best GTA game I've played so far.

Happy New Year

Well, 2013 was horrible but we've made it through. I'd like to thank the people who I have considered as friends regardless of distance.

Happy new year, everyone!