Wednesday, October 26, 2022

That's Gotta Be Cane

 "So Ralphy, why are you walking with a cane this week?"

I'm glad you asked, Ralph! I did cool guy shit and I'm paying for it.

So in front of the college building I go to, there's a bench that's close to the sidewalk. I've always wanted to jump onto it and jump off because why not? Back story, I like how I dressed on that Monday. Suit jacket with a hoodie and a sport shirt, jeans, and dress shoes. 

I can already hear a black cat say "Looking cool, Joker!"

So I thought, "Why not? I look good. Let's do this." So I jump on the bench, then off it. Then BAM! Dress shoes don't really have a lot of bounce to them, wooden heel and all. There was a moment of regret there because I felt my left heel hurt for a bit. I thought I could walk it off for the rest of the day, even going to the mall and buying a new sport jacket too.

Going home, that's when I felt it. My left heel hurt like hell and I felt like I couldn't walk. I knew that I wouldn't walk as well as I wanted without some support. So I bought a cane.

Cool guy getting cool guy things

The cane that I chose was buried under a batch of ugly floral or camouflaged canes that would look so out of place anywhere with anyone under the age of 95. Even the elderly from the 70's would say "tone it back on the color, maaaaan!" 

Honestly, I loved using it. I mean, it was still painful as hell but I felt cool using it. With the cane, I wanted to match it with outfits and get a good look out of it. Simply using a cane with a hoodie and sweatpants looks like I'm just too fat to walk. With an overcoat, it just feels class, or may I say, cool dude shit.

"Bring me the Batman!"

A classmate of mine said I looked like The Penguin from the Batman comics, which I still find cool, surprisingly. All I needed was a monocle and I'm set!

So yes, that's my story of why I walked with a cane for a week. Cool guy shit.