Wednesday, November 25, 2015

"How soon is enough?"

You know me, I hate getting crushes nowadays because, like a greasy boulder on stilts at the edge of a cliff, I fall easily. I don't have perfect vision but hindsight is always 20/20 so I can admit that I have a rough time trying to cope with liking a girl. Just like how the friendship with a certain Sociology girl worked out. Just like how a failed romantic gesture with a Tourism girl worked out. That's why I always try to stay away from girls whenever I can (not gay). But the thing about me is that I'm a love addict - I fully admit it.  I like the idea of having a crush because the feeling of liking someone is great but I loathe the feeling of "This is bound to end badly". You can't spell "crush" without "rush" and that's why I'm a love addict. A love junkie. Infatuated with infatuation. I could go on with this.

That's why I haven't had a successful relationship in a while. I just love the highs and hate the lows, like a real druggie on welfare. And for the meantime, I don't think I'll be ready for one even if a relationship knocks in my door and offers me cake and video games.

But recently, I've started to like this girl near the place I work for about a month now. Oh god, her accent is pretty awesome. And she looks amazing! Surprisingly (or pathetically), I got the nerve to ask for her name but not her number so at 23, I still need to work on this socializing skill that everyone keeps talking about. She and I have been talking for about a month and a half and it's been alright. Having enough inside jokes is worth it because we actually have something to talk about.

Recently, this girl passed by where I work and talked to me for a short while as I started helping a customer.

When she left, not realizing the customer was still in front of me, I instinctively said "She's so pretty..."

"She really is!" the customer said.

"I'm sorry I accidentally told you that. Haha! I've been trying to get her number, that's why. I've only been talking to her for like a month and a half. It's just too soon."

The customer asked me "How soon is enough?"

That's when it hit me. In those three seconds, I realized how my overthinking will be the death of me. I already was overthinking 4 years ago back in university with the two girls who broke my heart and I don't blame them for doing so anymore. I can admit it's partly my fault. And I'm sure this'll how it ends, of course.

And I know for a fact that nothing will change no matter how hard I try. Ha! It's just the way it is.

Friday, November 6, 2015

Post 2 - July 3, 2012

Hey! This story isn't dead! Sorry for not updating it in this blog sooner.


July 3, 2012
Posted by Jason at 3:21pm

Another post? Awesome! It’s after school so I have time to write on this blog.

Have I told you about my friend Joey? I think I did in the last post but lemme tell you how awesome the guy is. I’ve known him since high school and he’s been a blast to be with. Like, one time, we were stuck in a boring talk about god-knows-what at the lecture hall. He and I did nothing but text each other. Thank god teachers don’t check for cellphones inside coat pockets. Well, coat pockets of a coat that’s technically hidden inside a bag full of textbooks. Thank god for unlimited texting as well because god knows where we’ll be without unlimited texting.

Joey’s one of the few guys that I’d actually hang out with and I won’t feel like a burden. I used to think that I’d hinder him and his habits of picking up women. I remember one time on Valentine’s Day he told me he got the numbers of 15 girls at campus in 2 hours. I can vouch for this because he showed me all of their numbers. That’s some Glengarry Glen Ross stuff right there. I’m so sorry for the old movie reference as well as comparing women to real estate sales.

Joey never called them all, strangely (because I would’ve called each and every one of them without a doubt) but that’s how he met Celine. She’s an architecture student who’s in the same year as us and she basically told Joey off after he asked for her number. I’m surprised she became a friend of ours even after Joey’s attempts to flirt with her.

I sit beside Joey in every class because I don’t feel comfortable sitting with my other classmates that I don’t know. Joey is like the only person in class that talks to me, as sad as it sounds. We’re in a class of 28 people and half of them are guys. 12 of those guys sit in the other side of the room while Joey and I sit in the back corner of the class. He thinks it’s great because we’re “surrounded by girls”. Whatever makes him happy, I guess. I’m just thankful I have a friend to talk to in class this semester.

Oh god, if he ever reads this, he might think I have a man-crush on him. I don’t, Joey! I don’t! We’re like brothers and that’d be incest!

Anyway, thanks for reading this again, guys.

Till next time!
- Jason