Wednesday, September 21, 2022

Philippines 2022

It's been 4 years since I've set foot in the Philippines again. I was supposed to visit in 2020 but COVID-19 happened so I ended up going to North Carolina. Not that there's anything wrong with that. In fact, it was my first time visiting the US. I liked going there because of the clubs and seeing my cousins who I haven't seen in more than 5 years. But the problem was that it wasn't home

I was trying to do a multiple post series of my trip back in 2018 but I just couldn't find the words anymore, to be honest. It was tough, and I just didn't know how to write it all down.

Instead of a 14-hour flight like before, going to the US was a 6-hour flight. Personally, I love long flights and I think flights should be at least 8 hours. It just lets me relax and unwind while sitting uncomfortably in a seat with the possibility of being woken up by turbulence. I joke but I really like the plane experience.

It was great. This trip was better mentally because it was the first vacation I've had with no emotional baggage from ex-friends. I was already off work since February and one of the reasons I left was because they wouldn't let me take a month off to go to the Philippines. Excuse me if we were understaffed but I was able to do it myself. But I digress.

The only thing I wasn't looking forward to was the weather. It was way too hot and humid. I remember sweating like a roasting pig when I first got out of the airport. I immediately missed the Canadian fall weather. The big difference is that Canadian summers are uncomfortably dry and it's horrible. The problem with the Philippine weather I encountered was that it's always hot. It would rain hard and it would still be hot. Even at night, it was still hot. Maybe I'm just used to Canadian weather.

I'm always a sucker for malls. There's a mall named SM Fairview and the last time I was in the Philippines, it was just a rundown mall. That's apparently changed in the years since because I absolutely adore that mall. It used to be dark and unappealing to the eyes but surprisingly, it's been fun! Except for the lower ground floor where people line up by the dozen to a chicken restaurant for the unlimited rice. I perfectly understand why and I don't blame them. I'd do it too. I'd bring a fanny pack just to take home extra rice.

Another mall I loved going to since 2018 was Ever Gotesco. It's an old mall with lights being dim, and the department store looks like it's over 50 years old. It definitely needs a makeover but how do you redesign a department store without losing revenue, right? There are also stalls on the lower ground floor where you can buy cheap or knockoff clothing and accessories. Of course, being someone who looks for drip, I bought a Louis Vitton bag for 8 dollars. It's my favorite souvenir from that mall.

At the house my family stayed in, I met a stray dog that was brought in by the maids. His name is Bruno. I kinda regret not bringing him to Canada but I know I wouldn't be able to take care of him well. I remember he had worms so deworming him would cost more here. I miss him. He's grown so much now, barely recognizable to others but I know that nose anywhere. Bruno was the one that made me wanna get a pet so eventually, I adopted my pet cat named Chandler. I appreciate what Bruno was to me.

I think it was the first time I didn't cry at the airport after a trip. I feel like it's because I had such a good time and I know I'll be back again soon. The problem that I have now is my grandmother passed away recently and this was the last time I saw her. I promised to see her next year but I didn't mean it in these circumstances. 

Tuesday, August 16, 2022

"So hello, Ralph, what's up?"

I'll admit, I'm not in the best mood lately. Well, I haven't been up to anything after February 26.

I don't think I detailed everything when I posted about that date. What really happened was that I ended up at the psych ward after the ER. I had planned to end it all that day until I was stopped. I then just asked to be driven to the ER instead.

I imagined what it'll be like in Grey's Anatomy and I'm the patient of the episode.

Alex Karev: What do we got?
Meredith Grey: Male, 29, admitted himself here because of suicidal tendencies.
Karev: That's it? Give him a lollipop and get him outta here.
Meredith: Alex!

It was too much. I didn't like what I was doing for a living and I thought I was just stuck in a toxic environment. I thought there was no way out.

So yes, that's what's up.

Wednesday, June 8, 2022

I Know Alone

Lately I've been distant. And I'm okay with it?

There is a part of me that says "Acknowledge me!" and another part of me says "Shut the fuck up!" It goes both ways.

"Shut the fuck up!" is my reaction to certain people who I cringe at when they message me, or people who I just simply don't vibe with because they don't really seem to hold a conversation pretty well.

"Acknowledge me!" is just the useless part of me trying to socialize with people I wanna be friends with but they're giving me the "Shut the fuck up!" treatment, which sometimes I don't blame them for. People have lives and all but not when you're online and posting shit. I don't know. I blocked several people who gave me that treatment.

I'm fine with that. Fuck 'em. Fuck 'em.

I know alone like no one else does.

Thursday, June 2, 2022

Video Game Thoughts - Pokémon Power

With a Nintendo product, a huge requirement for it to be actually worth buying is a Pokémon game. At least, that's how I see it. Maybe that's why the Wii U failed as a console and not the 29 other reasons. Had Pokémon Ultra Sun and Moon been released on the Wii U instead of the 3DS again and maybe we'd still have better memories of the said tablet-tainted console

It was either Pokémon Sword or Shield. I bought Pokémon Shield because my friend convinced me in the stupidest way possible. We were at a GameStop when an attractive blonde woman was buying a new Switch and a Pokémon game. My friend was looking for games and we were in line so I might as well. 

Gamestop Employee: What can I get you?
RalphPokémon Shield please! Pretty lady buy Shield! Me want Shield!

That's exactly how it happened.

So far, the game has been easier than expected. There's a system that shares experience points with all the Pokémon in your team, which made the game easier. At some point, I felt like my Pokémon were too strong, around 8 levels higher than most of my opponents'. Basically, every time I got challenged by someone, I'd just be fighting for easy money with my team basically saying, "oh you don't know what you're in for, kiddo."

Friday, May 27, 2022

COVID Beach

Well, I don’t think I went and did a full-on post about when I had Covid-19 in the second week of January so why not? It was a miserable experience so why not dramatize it? First off, I’d just like to say that I am fully vaccinated and even got a booster shot to boot. I joke about how it’s enabling 5G in me or how it’s the government “controlling” me. 

me when I got my 2nd vaccination shot

In the first week of January, we were understaffed in my old job because a coworker was out with Covid too. It was just me and a part-timer so that meant it was just me doing majority of the work. I didn't want to get anyone else from a different store to help me because that just meant I've got to help them on how I wanted things done. It was more of a hassle that way. So I basically worked for 8 days straight and did a bunch of overtime too so 10 hour days for 8 days in a row? When I'm used to 6 days at most? Not a good idea. I did enjoy working by myself though and being the only guy in charge. I had fun. It was nice to just do things on my own in my own OCD kind of way.

Monday, March 7, 2022

Dates

Of course, I still haven't met anyone. Are you crazy? If I meet someone, I'm sure she'll tell me to delete my blog and such. 

The women I like would never like me back and the ones who I do try to date are, for a lack of a better word, "crazy". Honestly, it's hard. I've said it before: the ones I've had a connection with either left, gone crazy, been toxic, or just ran away.

There were two that have been the worst and they stand out.

I was so close to meeting up with one girl. She had already scheduled a babysitter for her kid and we were gonna get ramen after work.  Then she said we weren't compatible because of our horoscopes so she canceled. I honestly don't know how that works so I was just confused.

There was also a girl who I thought I had a good rapport with until she told me her prices. You know, how much to do whichever. That was just disappointing, to be honest.

Maybe I'm just broken after what happened recently. Maybe this is as close as I get to anything. 

Wednesday, March 2, 2022

Feb 26

When your brain is on autopilot, you have a choice of letting it continue on or you take back control.

Do I regret attempting? In a way, no, but I wish it hadn't had to come to this. 

I spent the whole morning in the psychiatry unit, unsure of what was happening to the outside world. I just kept on apologizing to every nurse who helped me. They said that's what they're there for but I still felt like their efforts were wasted on me. The psych nurse said it was both a good thing and a bad thing that I thought about others this way.

Thankfully I'm getting the help I need. I don't know how long it takes for me to be okay again. I feel like I'm dangling by a thread.

Monday, January 10, 2022

Be Positive

 I've tested positive for Covid recently.

I now want to hallucinate that I'm on a beach, meeting people from my past like in Grey's Anatomy.