Thursday, June 27, 2013

Things I See - The Ralph Rule

In TomasinoWeb, my old organization, the higher ups (i.e. just the VP for Human Resources) decided to make a set of rules for the org room just to show that  non-members can't just barge in and get free wifi, therefore hindering actual TomasinoWeb members from using the org room.


That totally happened, goddamn it!

In TomasinoWeb, my old organization, the higher ups (i.e. just the VP for Human Resources) decided to make a set of rules for the org room just to show that, yes, we're not just about having fun. We have fun most of the time. We do follow rules.

These 22 rules tell the average new member about the culture of TomasinoWeb. Each organization has their own culture and TomasinoWeb was no different. Here's a part of it.

Read rule #16.

"Thou shall not cite libelous words against CTHM girls."

That is the Ralph Rule.

It came from my constant joking of CTHM (College of Tourism and Hospitality Management) girls. Jokes that I can't say here without legal repercussions because this is written. If it were spoken word and not recorded, it's all legal. Sort of. My knowledge of law is messed up right now.

I may or may not have said a couple of jokes about CTHM girls but come on, "libelous words"? I think not. I can be bitter, horrible, biased, misinformed, and a bastard. BUT LIBELOUS? Hold your tongue, dear.

...Okay, I may have said one too many jokes for the Ralph Rule to happen. But I still won't apologize. Never!

Things I See - Moose Droppings

In May 30, I was hanging out with my friend who visited me from Delaware. Her family treated me to a trip to the aquarium. As we were about to leave, we were browsing the gift shop there and then I saw this.

I really don't see how something like "moose droppings" can be appetizing to some people, let alone be a good name for chocolates. It clearly says "Belgian chocolate covered almonds" at the bottom but why call it something that came out of a moose's ass?

Clearly, that can't be taken out of context.

"Hey bro, do you have any moose droppings here? I got a hankering for them."

Of course, I didn't buy them. Why would I want to be walking around with a bag of moose droppings? Unless I'm setting it on fire and leaving it on someone's doorstep, I really don't plan on buying it anytime soon  just because of the name.

This is coming from someone who's from a country that eats different parts of chicken, including the blood and intestines. But droppings? No way, brother! There's a line we don't cross. And that line is shit.

Things I See - I Needed This

Back in my college days, I was quite an emotional mess. Well, I still am but I'm Canadian now so it's different. I needed to buy food just so I have stuff to do. That's why I'm so large now. When I'm bored, I eat and I'm bored A LOT. So I was feeling down in the dumps that night. I hated the organization. I hated some people. I was still not over a girl I really liked. I needed a drink but this was before I was constantly getting drunk after class.

So I go to a milk tea place called Moonleaf. It's one of those expensive milk teas because... I don't really know why. When you order in Moonleaf, they have to get your name but I didn't feel like giving out my name and I was grumpy.

When my tea was done, I got it and this was written on the cup.

This actually helped me improve my mood that night. I needed a smile and it didn't matter who gave it to me. I smiled because someone drew a smile on my milk tea cup. Yeah, that's how messed up I was at that time.

Things I See - I Am A Man!

One of the most hilarious things I've seen in Canada are adult stores.

Back in the Philippines, these things were usually sold under the table with you having to know that a specific store sold those. I remember a magic shop in Greenhills that sold adult stuff right behind the products displayed in front of the store. A few steps in and you'll be able to see the good stuff. Cheaply made good stuff but still.

But in Canada, it's just sold out in the open with display windows and stuff. I'm not against this but come on, if you see someone enter there, you'd think he's a damn pervert. We perverts don't go public with our perversions.

Things I See - I'm Sorry Signs Are Stupid

This was one of the few things I saw in my final weeks in University of Santo Tomas as I was walking home.

This damn sign got stuck to the bottom of my shoe like toilet paper. And rightfully so because these signs are really just a sign of desperation. I know actions speak louder than words but really, it would solely depend if your actions aren't so sad and pitiful.

Yeah, dear god, people who do those stupid "I'm Sorry" signs are really--

Oh crap. I did do one of those signs in 2012. Shit.

Okay, okay, when people do get desperate, they tend to do things that are absurd to get what they want. In my case, to get a girl to forgive me. But hey, it didn't happen and I don't think it'll ever happen so yeah, those "I'm Sorry" signs are stupid and you should never do anything like that ever again.

My best friend said it best in one tweet than I could in several paragraphs.

Wednesday, June 26, 2013

Things I See - GetGlue

Thank goodness my GetGlue stickers arrived after 4 weeks.

GetGlue is a social networking site where you "check in" to your favorite shows or which shows are you watching and you get stickers. You can have actual paper versions of those stickers when you've collected 20 of them and GetGlue will send them to you free of charge.

I actually ordered a set when I was in the Philippines and they never arrived. Thankfully, Canada's closer to the US so it didn't get lost in the mail.

Things I See - Half

At the Canadian Superstore a few hours ago, I was browsing all the cellphones they had. This one caught my eye.

I'm not entirely sure if anyone wants to actually buy half a cellphone in full price. Hell, I'm not even sure if anyone would want to buy a cellphone keyboard. I mean, what would they do with it on its own?

I can understand if you want to go all McGyver on half a cellphone and make a bomb or something but come on, there has to be a better way to acquiring these.

(I know that these are just the display models and Superstore has fixed ones in storage. Play along~!)

Things I See - Yellow Oranges

I was at Walmart a few days ago and this caught my eye.

I never really knew that oranges can be yellow.

Yup, they're totally oranges, see?

(I know it's just the box but come on, you know you could get a better box to advertise lemons.)

Wednesday, June 5, 2013

Things I See - Oh, Not That Damn Puppy Again

I was browsing all the photos I had on my phone when suddenly, I have this.

I have a photo that I took several months ago at a Toys R' Us.

Oh my god, this is just horrible.

For those wondering, yes, that is a pink puppy that I constantly make references to. I gave that to a girl in a way that would put me in "How I Met Your Mother" as a character.

This is basically the symbol of why I gambled with all that romantic BS I see in the movies.

It's also the start of my bitterness. Well, not really "start" but rather "intensify". This intensified everything I hate. I've grown to hate romantic movies. I've started hating that damn college that girl is from.

And hey look, that girl kept the puppy! Seriously, she sent me a picture of the same puppy.

I told her to burn it.