An email from FB-USER277

I love checking out my spam folder and seeing all this garbage emails that only a dope would believe. As if I'm THAT desperate for female attraction that I'd think some random girl on the internet would actually email me. But this isn't as lengthy as the other one I received but I haven't done these in a while so why not check the ol' spam folder and see if I got any goodies.

HEY! Noticed you on FB and was hoping maybe we could hook up.

Really? Are you that desperate? How'd you find out my Facebook? And why is the first reaction you have to seeing someone's Facebook profile is "I WANT THAT MAN'S COCK IN ME"?

Can you text me if your interested in at least talking a bit and seeing where things go

First of all, *YOU'RE. Y-O-U-apostrophe-R-E is "you are". Y-O-U-R means "your"! Also, you don't even know me so why would you let your thirst consume you? You thirsty whore.

I just really need to have some fun in my life again and thought you were cute

Thank you, I know I'm cute (my mother says so). And you need more fun? Have you never heard of a PS3? There's always Skyrim to consume your life!

you can text me at 646-396-6367 ? PLS!talk soon! HSF (hot single female) :p

I really don't wanna know where that number is from, to be honest. Could it be a real phone number? Could it be a telemarketing company's? Could it be a middle aged housewife who's thirsty and wants some fun from men online? Who knows!

Also, I like how the bot has to put "hot single female" in the end as if it really is tempting me. What if a gay man received this, huh? You insensitive bot! MYSOGYNY!

I'm kidding, I'm not a social justice warrior who complains about everything.

Rambles - A Retreat Letter

I deliver a retreat letter in video for my friend Gelli. This is probably the shortest Fatman Forever episode ever.

Things I See - The Ralph Rule

In TomasinoWeb, my old organization, the higher ups (i.e. just the VP for Human Resources) decided to make a set of rules for the org room just to show that  non-members can't just barge in and get free wifi, therefore hindering actual TomasinoWeb members from using the org room.

OH WAIT.

That totally happened, goddamn it!

In TomasinoWeb, my old organization, the higher ups (i.e. just the VP for Human Resources) decided to make a set of rules for the org room just to show that, yes, we're not just about having fun. We have fun most of the time. We do follow rules.

These 22 rules tell the average new member about the culture of TomasinoWeb. Each organization has their own culture and TomasinoWeb was no different. Here's a part of it.

Read rule #16.

"Thou shall not cite libelous words against CTHM girls."

That is the Ralph Rule.

It came from my constant joking of CTHM (College of Tourism and Hospitality Management) girls. Jokes that I can't say here without legal repercussions because this is written. If it were spoken word and not recorded, it's all legal. Sort of. My knowledge of law is messed up right now.

I may or may not have said a couple of jokes about CTHM girls but come on, "libelous words"? I think not. I can be bitter, horrible, biased, misinformed, and a bastard. BUT LIBELOUS? Hold your tongue, dear.

...Okay, I may have said one too many jokes for the Ralph Rule to happen. But I still won't apologize. Never!

Rambles - Video Message To TomasinoWeb

A hastily thrown together video message for the graduates and new officers of TomasinoWeb.

Rambles - Post-Review Thoughts

It's just me talking about what I had to go through in reviewing TomasinoWeb's short film "16:11"

Rambling Reviews - 16:11

Kissing rosaries! Pretentiousness running wild! A photographer who has his head up in his ass! This movie has got NOTHING for you!

Ralph's Video Collection - Spooning With Ralphy

Okay, I blatantly copied "Spooning with Spoony". And I apologize to TomasinoWeb for this weirdness.

Also, credit to TNA wrestling for the background music.

Ralph's Video Collection - Harlem Shake Fail

I'm not much into doing meme-related videos but the Harlem Shake is quite a good one if you have a video editor. But I didn't wanna use one so I just left it unedited for everyone to see how I tried and failed to record a good Harlem Shake video in the org room.

Ralph's Video Collection - TomasinoWeb QuadCore Farewell Video

In 2011, I joined an organization in UST called "TomasinoWeb". It's the, and I quote, "official online news publication and student organization of the University of Santo Tomas." Granted, I actually thought I wouldn't ever care about the organization but as it turned out, I really did. And I really miss the friends I've made there.

This video never fails to make me cry.

Yup, I'm Spending Money on Valentine's Day Again

In 2012, I made the stupid move of actually paying for a harana or a serenade. I seriously planned it out by picking what the singer would perform along with finding out the schedule of the girl I wanted to apologize to (Long story short, it didn't work and she hated me more for it but everyone hates me now so that's nothing new).

Ironically, I found out about this harana project that the UST organization known as Mediartrix does in 2011 when UST was sickeningly filled with people doing grand romantic gestures for girls by giving them flowers and having people serenade them (Obviously, I'm jealous! Dear god, I desperately want someone to like me and do something grand for me. But that's another story entirely. An entirely fictional one). I actually told myself that I would never pay for that because paying people to serenade someone looked desperate but in 2012, I was really desperate to get this girl to forgive me for whatever I did (Shows you the kind of self-esteem I had - really, really low).

Anyway, enough dwelling on the past (I've been dwelling on it in the past year). For some reason, I had friends who I wanted to at least entertain by paying for a friendly serenade. Okay, okay, I know that I'm paying for something that would entirely be meaningless but the one of the reasons why I'm doing this is because it's like undoing what happened last year.

This year, I asked for my friend's schedule, what room would she be in, and if it would be alright if I had her serenaded. Last year, I didn't consider any of those and thought a surprise would be great (IT WASN'T). One more thing that I want to undo was the fact that the girl from last year didn't appreciate what I paid for. This year, when I asked my friend if it was alright for Mediartrix to literally barge in and sing a song, she said it was alright and got her excited. Hey, at least this year, this, whatever this is, would be appreciated.

I still don't know why I have to do it but hey, self-satisfaction. I'll make someone happy, right? ...Right?

Tweeter - Ask Me a Form

A typical (and now beardless) rant about Formspring and Ask.Fm

Rambling Reviews - 2B Kontinyud (12.22.12)

The first video review I've ever done so I ramble a lot. I actually get sidetracked a lot of times here so that's why it took so long.

Also, just for future references in the video: Lemon, Lime, Blueberry = Lemonade, Mountain Dew, Pepsi Blue (respectively, of course). I named them that way in this review.

PART 1

PART 2

PART 3

For The Last Time (12.7.12) - Organization

A cold-induced video about the organization I'm in. Nothing really bad. Just talking about the organization for the last time.

(I actually cut a part of this along with other small bits and pieces of the video. All unimportant)

Buddy System

In WWE NXT (yes, I'm gonna throw a few wrestling references here and there), I always liked the concept of the "Pro and Rookie" where one established WWE Superstar would be the mentor of a wrestler who the fans aren't aware of. The Pro is supposed to help out the Rookie and give him pointers (in storyline, or maybe even backstage).

Here we have WWE Superstar R-Truth with NXT Rookie Johnny Curtis. Okay, so none of you get this reference. Moving on...

I'm not entirely sure if I gave my organization, TomasinoWeb, the idea for the buddy system where senior members and officers would be hang out with new members and trainees. I'm really sure I didn't and I don't take credit for anything at all but I actually like the new system since the new members who want to stay in the org have to interact with the senior members.

In my time, I didn't have that (and yeah, being in an org for one year makes you senior since one year is a quarter of your stay in college. One-fifth if you're taking up something like Engineering or Architecture). When it was my first year in the organization, I didn't know anyone. I only knew one person (the one who recruited me and made me aware of the organization in the first place) and I wasn't even as close with her. I had a classmate who joined the organization as well but she had friends of her own.

Hell, in the first GA, I was already panicking inside while maintaining my composure. I was saying "I don't know anyone here, I don't know anyone here. I'm gonna die here" in a complete loop for 20 minutes. I know I overreacted inside but I wasn't much of the social guy back then so I didn't have the initiative to say "Hi, I'm Ralph. I'm a new member here." I only got lucky because of the team building but that was after the first semester had ended so that was like 3 months worth of socialization down the drain.

Before the team building happened, I wanted to test how well the organization tolerated bullying (well, playful bullying, not the actual kind) so I decided to bully the president at the time by making fun of how she smiled like someone who's plotting something. It got a good reaction from the officers and they finally knew about me so that was good.

One of my few regrets in the organization is not being able to actually talk to every one of the officers at the time. Scheduling conflicts were probably the main cause of that. When I was in the org room, they were probably in class or doing something else. It's not anyone's fault but I just wish I got to know more of those officers back then.

Now, the new members are privileged because they're stuck with the current officers of the org, including me. Okay, that sounded bad but that's the point. They're forced to interact with us for better or for worse if they want to stay in the organization.

I don't really see myself as a likable person (Try asking certain tourism girls along with other people) but somehow, these new members are still naive, hence they see me as funny or "respectable" (No! I am not respectable in any way!) And the best part here is that they're willing to hang out with me. I think they're doing that because they're required to and I'm flattered by the comments about how I'm funny and "respectable" (that's never a good word to describe me).

So, technically, I'm required to hang out with these members who are also required to hang out with me. It's like a legal contract. It's not actually a bad thing. I really appreciate this whole WWE NXT-like system that I mentioned earlier. I'm the pro and these new members are my rookies. I'd love to somehow teach whatever I can to these people but for now, I'm still that asshole executive who does nothing but still has the gall to hang out with these regular members as if I'm saying "Yeah, you do the hard work while I do nothing and look good." I'm an asshole like that.

...but I look good being an asshole.

So far, my "buddies", as we executives call them, have been surprisingly friendly. So far, none of them have given me a reason to be pissed off or disheartened and I like that. I wish it'd stay that way.

My plan is that I want none of my buddies to quit the organization. The reason why I'm still in the organization is because the president, the editor-in-chief, and the blog department head, among others, welcomed me in the organization. Slowly but surely, I gained their trust and they treated me nicely. I don't really want them to gain my trust or anything like that but they should at least feel like they're part of the org.

I've seen a lot of people quit the organization because they didn't feel welcome or weren't really noticed because they didn't speak up. I consider myself to be lucky to have met them because they actually embraced me as a temporary member of their group of friends.

"Why did they bring their dad and did he just get off of work?" asked students who didn't know who we were.

(Temporary because they graduated a few months later.)

Anyway, I want my buddies to feel welcome in the org and that they have nothing to worry about because I don't ever want them to feel like they're on their own in the org. Several past members have felt that and they didn't renew their membership. I nearly quit because I felt that for a time but again, I was lucky enough to have met those officers who made me feel welcome.

I'm actually trying my best to make my buddies feel like they're not on their own in the org and that I'm actually rooting for them to succeed. I actually want them to take my position as an executive in the organization because I'm leaving in a few months. I actually want them to feel the way that I did back then.

If one of my buddies actually becomes an officer or stays in the organization because of me or at least partly because of me, I did my job. That's all I want.

If I were to be a blog editor

My first choice for a position I wanted to have in this organization was the blog editor. Yes, I know an executive position is more than enough but it wasn't what I asked for but I don't want to get to that now. That's for a future post. Anyway, I had a few plans for the blog section of the TomasinoWeb website.

Simply put, I wanted a few bloggers to work with - five at the most. Since not everyone wants to type their emotions and thoughts in a word processor and would rather cover fun events, the blog section isn't really that sought out.

Let's say the organization accepted five bloggers and five trainees. I wanted to find out what those five bloggers main interests are whether it'd be video games, TV shows, comic books, professional wrestling, dramas, and anything they're interested in. I would've told them to write articles on how the campus is a comic book, a drama or a TV show because it's light reading, not a thesis. It should be mildly amusing. We could have reviews of video games or comic book series that the students might enjoy. Basically, I wanted them to pick something they know a lot about and make them write about it in various ways, including how to make the common UST student to relate to it.

As for the trainees, I wanted to copy the developmental system of WWE where wrestlers who aren't ready for the main roster can hone their skills. I want them to try and work on their blogging skills while giving them a few tips on how to improve. For that to happen, I wanted to try and have a different blog just for the blog section. A little odd but it would give these trainees to develop their writing skills and get feedback from people. I wanted to show that these trainees have skills that need to be a honed a little and they may not be TomasinoWeb website ready but I'll make sure they are.

What I Had Planned With The TomWeb Twitter Account

Yes, I finally thought of something convoluted to make the TomasinoWeb twitter account (located here) a little more interesting. As the Vice President of Online Operations (a really long title for a guy who controls a Facebook and a Twitter account of an organization), I was told to do something that would make our fanbase grow.

Usually, these "official" Twitter accounts of UST organizations are more formal and serious with their posts. So I thought "Why not go in a different direction?" If those other accounts are being serious with their tweets, I wanted to be funny. I wanted to give this Twitter account a human side instead of a formal "We are serious, we post news blah blah blah" feel to it. I want to connect with the followers in a way that would make them appreciate us. I want them to think that they can talk to TomasinoWeb informally, as a friend.

The other organizations are being serious and just simply posting news. I want the 2000+ followers to read something on the lighter side.

I want the followers to know that we try to bring you humor as well, something that everyone needs right now after that dire ordeal that was constant flooding and heavy rains.

Now I'm not taking credit for anything at all. I just copied what ECW wrestler Tommy Dreamer said about competition. If your competition goes one way, you go another. Others are being serious, we go with humor. Once the others start being funny as well, we'll be serious.