What's that? A year after the updated version of the Pink Puppy arc of my old How I Never Met Your Mother series?
Kids, you know I’m a nice guy. Now my friends won’t tell you that unless they have a gun pointed to their head though. I show my friendship through my meanness and for some reason, people like me for it. My friends know for a fact that when I do something nice for someone, I really mean it. When I apologized to Jill in person, it really didn’t go well.
Ralph: Jill, I’m sorry.
Jill: Whatever. Whatever.
Ralph: I didn’t know what I said—
Jill: Whatever. Whatever.
Okay, “didn’t go well” is sort of an understatement. My apology was crashed and burned like a race car out of control.
Ralph: What do I do with Jill?
Classmate: You apologized and she didn’t want it.
Friend: Obviously, she doesn’t like you.
Ralph: I'm not giving up on her.
[I should've given up on her.]
Ralph: This girl could be special.
[She was the devil.]
Ralph: I’m gonna apologize and things are gonna work out with Jill.
[No they're not, dumbass!]
Then I remembered something. Mediartrix, a musical theatre organization in UST, had a serenade service during Valentine’s Day. With 150 pesos, you can get a guitarist and a singer to give a rose to someone along with a serenade. That's like 3 to 5 dollars Canadian.
Ralph: That’s it. The harana services of Mediartrix.
Friend: Oh god no.
Classmate: Yeah, she hates you now and with a harana, she can hate you more in a more festive way.
Ralph: Come on, Jill’s probably nice enough to accept that. I mean, she liked the pink puppy.
Friend: Right after you stalked her.
Ralph: I did not! I didn't do anything like that!
Friend: You made me pretend that I was going to shift to tourism!
Ralph: At least we got the schedule, right? It was a tactic!
Anyway, I asked your Uncle Martin who was a member of the organization at the time how to reserve a slot. He told me to just call the project manager of the serenade services and pay on the day itself. Also, I gave him several specifications on the serenade.
Ralph: Martin, I need you and May to sing. And I want the song “Addicted” by Simple Plan.
I chose that song because of the lyrics. “I'm trying to forget that I'm addicted to you. But I want it and I need it, I'm addicted to you. Now it's over, can't forget what you said. And I never want to do this again. Heartbreaker.” Okay, that song may be a little exaggerated but if I wanted to pick a song that would be sung to a girl that started to hate me then I should have at least a little fun. Right?
I know I’m a horrible person but at least I’m trying to be nice and save face. As far as I know, some tourism girls became aware of me at the time and I tried to keep a low profile. I tried keeping a low profile but a serenade in public wasn’t the best way to keep it. Genius, Ralph. Genius. What could go wrong?
Oh, right. School Days.
So yeah, that’s how I planned my apology to Jill. Was it good? I’ll get to that later.