Friday, May 27, 2022

COVID Beach

Well, I don’t think I went and did a full-on post about when I had Covid-19 in the second week of January so why not? It was a miserable experience so why not dramatize it? First off, I’d just like to say that I am fully vaccinated and even got a booster shot to boot. I joke about how it’s enabling 5G in me or how it’s the government “controlling” me. 

me when I got my 2nd vaccination shot

In the first week of January, we were understaffed in my old job because a coworker was out with Covid too. It was just me and a part-timer so that meant it was just me doing majority of the work. I didn't want to get anyone else from a different store to help me because that just meant I've got to help them on how I wanted things done. It was more of a hassle that way. So I basically worked for 8 days straight and did a bunch of overtime too so 10 hour days for 8 days in a row? When I'm used to 6 days at most? Not a good idea. I did enjoy working by myself though and being the only guy in charge. I had fun. It was nice to just do things on my own in my own OCD kind of way.

Monday, March 7, 2022

Dates

Of course, I still haven't met anyone. Are you crazy? If I meet someone, I'm sure she'll tell me to delete my blog and such. 

The women I like would never like me back and the ones who I do try to date are, for a lack of a better word, "crazy". Honestly, it's hard. I've said it before: the ones I've had a connection with either left, gone crazy, been toxic, or just ran away.

There were two that have been the worst and they stand out.

I was so close to meeting up with one girl. She had already scheduled a babysitter for her kid and we were gonna get ramen after work.  Then she said we weren't compatible because of our horoscopes so she canceled. I honestly don't know how that works so I was just confused.

There was also a girl who I thought I had a good rapport with until she told me her prices. You know, how much to do whichever. That was just disappointing, to be honest.

Maybe I'm just broken after what happened recently. Maybe this is as close as I get to anything. 

Wednesday, March 2, 2022

Feb 26

When your brain is on autopilot, you have a choice of letting it continue on or you take back control.

Do I regret attempting? In a way, no, but I wish it hadn't had to come to this. 

I spent the whole morning in the psychiatry unit, unsure of what was happening to the outside world. I just kept on apologizing to every nurse who helped me. They said that's what they're there for but I still felt like their efforts were wasted on me. The psych nurse said it was both a good thing and a bad thing that I thought about others this way.

Thankfully I'm getting the help I need. I don't know how long it takes for me to be okay again. I feel like I'm dangling by a thread.

Monday, January 10, 2022

Be Positive

 I've tested positive for Covid recently.

I now want to hallucinate that I'm on a beach, meeting people from my past like in Grey's Anatomy. 

Monday, November 22, 2021

How To Save a Life

I've watched a lot of Grey's Anatomy, I admit. Well, up until my last favorite character had left in season 16 and I was stuck with the weird ones I didn't like as much. Anyway, I'll admit I never considered watching it until I started watching it with a girl I liked. Well, I liked her, she didn't like me at all, so I just watched it on my own (Screw you, Rebecca.)



When I'm feeling depressed, I admit that I've imagined myself being resuscitated by paramedics. It's one of the few scenarios I think about. Like, I collapse at work, paramedics come, and in my head is just this song and as dramatic as it sounds, I'm just seeing all the women I've had feelings for. It just makes me realize that I'm alone until the end.