Dates

Of course, I still haven't met anyone. Are you crazy? If I meet someone, I'm sure she'll tell me to delete my blog and such. 

The women I like would never like me back and the ones who I do try to date are, for a lack of a better word, "crazy". Honestly, it's hard. I've said it before: the ones I've had a connection with either left, gone crazy, been toxic, or just ran away.

There were two that have been the worst and they stand out.

I was so close to meeting up with one girl. She had already scheduled a babysitter for her kid and we were gonna get ramen after work.  Then she said we weren't compatible because of our horoscopes so she canceled. I honestly don't know how that works so I was just confused.

There was also a girl who I thought I had a good rapport with until she told me her prices. You know, how much to do whichever. That was just disappointing, to be honest.

Maybe I'm just broken after what happened recently. Maybe this is as close as I get to anything. 

Feb 26

When your brain is on autopilot, you have a choice of letting it continue on or you take back control.

Do I regret attempting? In a way, no, but I wish it hadn't had to come to this. 

I spent the whole morning in the psychiatry unit, unsure of what was happening to the outside world. I just kept on apologizing to every nurse who helped me. They said that's what they're there for but I still felt like their efforts were wasted on me. The psych nurse said it was both a good thing and a bad thing that I thought about others this way.

Thankfully I'm getting the help I need. I don't know how long it takes for me to be okay again. I feel like I'm dangling by a thread.