Ralph's Video Collection - Dance, Karen

In December of 2012, my friend Karen and I decided to go to some other Christmas parties because the 3LIT Christmas party at the time was starting late. We went to the journalism Christmas party because that was where Karen shifted from.

And then this happened.

Things I See - My Bathroom Has 50 Shades

When I moved to my new place here in Canada, the first thing I did was look for old stuff that have somehow been left behind. Now, I was expecting a wallet or a gadget of some kind but that's just really unlikely since people are more careful with their electronics than they are with their children (Kids can't play mp3 files apparently).

I was told by the landlord that the previous tenants were Native Americans, hence the dream catchers hung on the bed rooms. The weirdest thing, however, was when I had gone to the bathroom to inspect the cabinets for other Native American stuff...

Now, I really hate Fifty Shades of Grey and everyone who reads it but dear god, that book was left behind in my bathroom. It's like, why would you read that in the bathroom of all places? While taking a dump, you're trying to be turned on? That's just weird.

And I can understand why that horrible book is left behind - it's because it sucks. Come on, you know that book sucks so bad that fanfiction is written better than that crap.

Things I See - Mass Deletion

I was just really, really pissed off one morning for various reasons that I don't want to share here. I was still in the brief depression I had when I first arrived here in Canada and I just thought "Hey, these stupid people are online and they don't care about me. Why should I care about them?"

If it's not legible, it says "You are no longer friends with:"

And this wasn't the complete list. I really deleted a lot of people and enjoyed it. I must've deleted approximately 45 people on my friends list on Facebook. It was a therapeutic experience to get rid of people who I know I can't develop friendships anymore. Consider it something like "Out with the old, in with the new" and my motto of "Everyone is replaceable" in effect.

Things I See - Oh Twitter

Quote accounts on Twitter have been popular, depending on the topic of course, but sometimes, the name they choose is hilarious.

Case in point...

I know I've been trying to be a boyfriend for a(n unlucky) girl for years now and it's still gotten me nowhere. Then "A Real Boyfriend" follows me on Twitter. Maybe he's gonna give me some tips or something.

Things I See - The Y-Pad

I remember seeing this obvious iPad rip-off in a store in the University of The Philippines once. It's called the Y-Pad and is an English Computer.

Now, it's been a while since I've seen it and I did open the box to see what it was like. It was a light plastic iPad with lights on the side and really cheap buttons. It needed 4 AA batteries to run and make weird sounds.

But hey, buy this for your kid so he can pretend he has an iPad when in reality, he looks like he has financial problems at home. Oh dear.

Ralphisms - BETRAYAL!

For the past few months or so, I've been known to scream "BETRAYAL! BE-TRAY-UHL!" regarding issues, petty things, or people who have, well, betrayed me.

I got it from my favorite internet reviewer named Spoony when he shouted it at E3 2010 regarding the new XCOM game. The game was turned into a first-person shooter instead of a strategy game which basically betrayed the fans who enjoyed the older games.

Before Your Mother [Part 2] – Your First Aunt

Kids, before meeting all your aunts in college, I met your first aunt back in high school. Well, not exactly in the same high school. Heck, your first aunt wasn’t even from the same country as I was. I met her online through the weirdest of ways. Back when I was young, people were using social media websites like Facebook, MySpace, Multiply, and even Friendster.

I grew up in an all-boys school which meant that I never really had much contact with the opposite gender for most of my life. Kind of sad, right? Well, it was really sad because I was still awkward as hell. I remember not even being able to talk to any girl my age at the time.

Girl: Hi.

Ralph: Oh… Er… Hi… Is that how it works?

See? I wasn’t really that kind of guy who’s good in face to face interactions. I didn’t even know how I have friends of the opposite to begin with. I was a real awkward weirdo in high school who enjoyed video games by himself.

One video game that I really like is Crisis Core: Final Fantasy VII .

Yes, this is important to meeting your first aunt, and eventually your mother.