Friday, May 30, 2014

"Adriana" sent Ralph a message (Part 2)

Yes, Adriana's email was too long for one post. Plus, it was just so stupid with all of the misspellings.

If you missed part 1, click here. Other than that, let's go on with Adriana's long and rambling email.
do u have any hookups or know anybody hiring? id LOVE to work in a baror osmehting like that...
Craigslist will probably help you out since there are horny weirdos like you hiding in that website. And bar managers require their employees to have the ability to spell. "One bere and miartiani, comming uup!" doesn't really look too nice.
really anythgin cause my current job is funand all.. and technically i CUD keep doign it but i want a change.. icurrently work from home and well thats cool but i need ot be outmeeting people.. 

What do you do then? Telemarketing? Emails? Oh, oh, you're a Youtuber! I heard a lot of YouTubers are either attractive or stupid. Either way, people love them and they make money out of being stupid.
oh wait. i dont think i ever actually told u what idid? hmm shud i......???? 
This isn't a conversation, you know? You can just tell me instead of wasting ellipses and question marks.
ok WELLLL... and dont get all weirded outon me.. 
I already am.
i work on a webcam chat community site and i get paid to chatwith people and get naked HHAHA... BOMB right :)? I KNOW..
Well, you do what you love and you never have to work another day, right? NO IT'S NOT RIGHT, YOU VAPID IDIOT!

How do you get paid though? Ad revenue? Sponsors? I mean, who would actually sponsor webcam chat when the audience is composed of guys jerking off in front of their computer?

Oh. Right.

like ifigure iim horny anyways why not get paid to chat with people and playwith myself heheh...
Yeah, it's like people uploading Let's Plays on YouTube. Why play video games when you can get paid to upload videos of you playing the video games? It worked so well for people on YouTube. Hell, even the YouTube guy with the most subscribers is an immature weirdo who screams a lot about rape in his videos.
anyways i hope u dont look down on that and NOTHATS NOT WHY IM CONTACTING U RELAX URSELF lol... i actually need helponce i move and i remembered u live there so im reaching out....
I DO LOOK DOWN ON THAT! You get naked on camera for money! And apparently, you've done it so much that you can afford a house and move to my neighborhood! Don't you fucking dare talk to me if you ever see me walking down the street.
like isaid before this computer is a complete piece of CRAP and freezes NONSTOP.. ive tried ot send this email to u maybe 3 times already and imhopign this time i can hit SEND before i run into trouble lol..
If you can afford to move, why can't you buy a new computer? And don't you have a smartphone where you can send emails? You can afford a smartphone since you can move houses on a whim, right?

By the way, doesn't your email automatically save drafts? Why couldn't you just edit and send that draft instead of having to type everything over again since your computer constantly freezes? Maybe your laptop was attacked by a certain someone with freezing abilities...

ANYWAYS.. heres the deal....every month natalie (my boss) gives eachof us 3 VIP codes to give out to whoever we want.. so with this code ucan lgoin to watch me at work for free and dont have to pay likeeveryone else...
Oh, so you do have a boss? Huh. That's... odd. I don't know what kind of credentials she has though. "Can you supervise naked weirdos? Yes? YOU'RE HIRED!"

Since you are giving me a session for free, why not just Skype? I really don't want to have to log in and see other girls I don't know shove cucumbers up their crotches...

the only way i can give u one of the codes (so we canchat) is if you absolutey DO NOT give it out to anyone else and u ONLYUSE IT FOR URSELF... i only get 3 a month and she gets pissed if morethan 3 people use them so DONT SHARE IT MISTER...
Maybe I will share these codes. It's not like there are a lot of websites out there where you can see naked girls on webcam...

I said "naked girls", not "dicks".
 i figured u cudalways email me back instead but my email account doesnt even let melogin half the time.. so the bets palce ot chat me is my chat room...
Again, have you tried Skype? It's much better than some weird website no one's ever heard of. Wait, your email account doesn't let you log in half the time? What do you use? Lycos? Or maybe you just keep misspelling your password like a little kid. I'm going with the latter.
if theres anyone else logged in when u sign in ill boot them out.. butremember DONT SHARE THIS PASSWORD PLEASE BABE IM BEGGING U.. I TRUSTU... 
At least you're dedicated in keeping me happy... :)
im online most of the day now to try and save money for my move..also since im in such a huge debt already form my student loan :( 
Yes, and you're doing so well with that education. What was it you're doing? Getting naked on webcam for strangers? You're like a low-class porn star. Hell, porn stars make better money than you.
Ireally thingk we need to chat before i get there and make sure u evernremember me hahha.. 
I checked Facebook message history. I don't remember you at all... :(

anyways ive rambled on and on now and ur probably

soooo annnoyed with me so ill stop now.. 

YES! PLEASE STOP WITH THIS RETARDED EMAIL! It was like you were typing with one hand while you were groping yourself with the other.

im gonna go start work.. ireally hope u come chat me. it wud make my day and releive a lot of mystress about the move... REALLY i mean that....
You're probably gonna have too much fun touching yourself before you even get to see me.
anyways once i see u ininsdie ill shoot u myc ell number and u can gimme yours..
Oh so you do have a cellphone! Use that instead of your shitty laptop! Wait, how do you know what I look like anyway if you can't find me on Facebook?
if u dont wanna come chat i understand but its really the only palce to find menow days..
No, no, I know where I can find other people like you.

See? I even got 4 more emails from people like you.

 if u email me abck ill probably get it once i get thereafter my internet is setup so about 2-3 weeks fomr now.. 
So you're telling me you won't be able to check your email account after you've somehow sent me this email because you're instantly cutting off your current internet connection to move? But you said you worked at home, getting naked on webcam! If you're computer keeps freezing, how are you able to work your "job"?! Do you have a second computer? If so, why not just use that to check emails?!
but im hopignto see u in my chat room.. rmemeber its 100% free with this code imgonna give u.. just DONT GIVE IT OUT OR ILL KICK U IN THE BALLSINSTEAD OF LICK U IN THE BALLS WHEN IS EE U hahahahha...k babe im outfor now... chat ya soon.. kisses xoxo Adriana
Don't you fucking dare lick my balls, you horny weirdo. I hope your computer fries itself beyond repair and you lose your naked webcam job.

Well, that was fun actually. I absolutely enjoyed making fun of that email. Thanks for reading it all the way through and I hope Adriana didn't give you a headache with her bullshit spelling skills.