Thursday, February 14, 2013

Right Now

I don't have a good memory, I can admit that. I'm horrible with names. I'm bad with faces. You're either lucky or I just like you a lot if I remember your name and which school you go to. I'm so bad in remembering friends that I have to follow them on Twitter or add them on Facebook just so I can see their faces whenever they update and even then, when I see them in person, I even have a hard time recognizing them.

But I still like that. I like meeting new people from organizations, social networking sites, and classes. It's always hard to make friends with irregular students because they're practically outsiders from your class but I have achieved that actually. Haha! I've sat beside irregular students, talked to them when the professors aren't in class yet, and I've talked to them through text messages or Facebook. The funny thing is that people assume that I flirt with the female irregular students but I really don't. It's not that I don't like them, it's just that I've given up on whatever I did when I was in second year but that's a whole different story.

It was even in organizations where I met my organization friends who were like older sisters and brothers to me. They made the organization fun because they weren't that controlling. I dunno, maybe because it was all new to me.

The best thing about one of my organization friends was that she was the blog editor at the time and to this day, I still remember the exact schedule of when I need to submit a blog post. She made me a part of that org and saw whatever potential I had.

I think I was clingy to them but they accepted me. They even let me join them in the Neocentennial Celebration in UST last year. When they graduated, I thought I'd be alright and totally won't miss them but right now, I really do.

They even had this farewell video for them and every time I watch it, I always cry my eyes out because it reminds me of a time where I actually enjoyed the organization. Right now, I really can't do anything about it since they graduated but I still keep in contact with them. I just really miss them, you know?

I have a few regrets regarding friends and one of them was not getting to know all of them. I wasn't able to know everyone in that video.

Right now, I miss all of them. I miss the irregular students. I miss my old friends who aren't publicly insecure of anything. I miss the upperclassmen. In college, I never had a close group of friends until I was with the organization but that wasn't enough since they had their own lives and I had no life to begin with. I kid, I kid.

No, I'm not being dramatic or anything. I just wanna let this all out.

I've actually lost quite a lot of people, either through choice, unavoidable situations, or just simple indifference but hey, it's me and as I always say, that's basically a good thing if people distance themselves from me.

I can admit that I've lost a lot of friends because it is true. You thought my motto of "Everyone is replaceable" was emo bullshit? It's actually a hasty generalization but because of enough experience, I actually think it's true.

So yeah, I miss that. I miss everyone I've lost.