August 30, 2017
July 1, 2017
I miss my friend Ash. She's great. And I'm never going to be able to talk to her again.
I never thought of her as someone who was 100 percent great - I mean that in the friendliest way possible - but she's been a great friend to talk to. Sure we had some disagreements, especially during my mood swings where she'd seriously call me out on being insensitive, but what friendship doesn't have these potholes? A genuine one would always have ups and downs. And I miss that.
I don't like what happened to her - no one does - but I wish I could've helped somehow.
And maybe one day she'll leave the horror. Oh well. It's future rust and it's future dust.
June 5, 2017
April 18, 2017
"So take some time to listen to people who might be reaching out to you when they're trying not to kill themselves and you don't even realize it. You could be the reason why they live."
Motherfucker, I've been trying to do that to you and all of our friends for the past 4 years I've been here but I've just been getting ignored because fuck me, right? Fuck the friend in Canada who you said you'd all miss. Fuck that guy who had the time and money to send one of our friends a gift from Canada all the way to wasteland Philippines JUST BECAUSE he wanted to make a friend happy and that same friend never bothered talking to him again. Fuck that guy who's trying to reconnect friendships with classmates from days gone by and didn't even get invited to hang out by a majority of these "friends who'll miss him" when said friend just so happened to visit. Fuck that guy, right?
I see the thought and I can appreciate that, but really, when someone comes to talk to you on the brink of easily killing themselves and you "don't realize it" because you're too busy to even chat with someone, maybe it's best to not tell others that you'll listen.
It's social media activism all over again. You can easily say "I'm always open to listen" but when someone talks, none of you listen. Because god knows, we need more deaf ears.