July 1, 2017


I miss my friend Ash. She's great. And I'm never going to be able to talk to her again.

I never thought of her as someone who was 100 percent great - I mean that in the friendliest way possible - but she's been a great friend to talk to. Sure we had some disagreements, especially during my mood swings where she'd seriously call me out on being insensitive, but what friendship doesn't have these potholes? A genuine one would always have ups and downs. And I miss that.

I don't like what happened to her - no one does - but I wish I could've helped somehow.

And maybe one day she'll leave the horror. Oh well. It's future rust and it's future dust.

June 5, 2017

Dynasty Warriors 4: Empires - Easy Empire Building

As mentioned before, Dynasty Warriors is the series that got me into video games so I apologize on behalf of it. Sure, Grand Theft Auto is what made me actually enjoy video games but Dynasty Warriors is what opened the door to the bottomless pit. Specifically, Dynasty Warriors 4 but I’m not going into that today since I feel like I’d be repeating myself. As much as I love said fourth iteration of Dynasty Warriors, Dynasty Warriors 4: Empires is my favorite game in the “Compilation of Dynasty Warriors 4”, which also includes the main game and Xtreme Legends.

“Screw you, Final Fantasy VII. Compilation of FF7? More like Complication of FF7! Hahaha wasteland!”

Lemme tell you how I even got this game in the first place. I saw it was for sale in the Philippines but I didn’t have the money for it. A year later, when Christmas time came about at fifth grade, I asked for Dynasty Warriors 4: Empires for the Secret Santa wishlist thing we had in class. Sure enough, my best friend at the time got me that game as a gift. Nine years later, I bought a used copy of the game for 50 cents on Amazon. Well, 3.95 for shipping. So that’s still less than 5 dollars for a game that I still absolutely love.

So, let’s talk about Dynasty Warriors 4: Empires, the first iteration of the surprisingly fun Empires spin-off. You pick a character to have as a ruler and you get two random dudes to start you off in your simple task of conquering China. You start off with three characters at first because in the original game, there were three characters unlocked in each kingdom when you first start the game so it's a nice callback.

April 18, 2017

Re: Suicide Status Update

I love my friends and all but sometimes they just say some of the most inane stuff online. Not saying suicide is inane but a status update is ticking me off. I'll just rephrase it.

"So take some time to listen to people who might be reaching out to you when they're trying not to kill themselves and you don't even realize it. You could be the reason why they live."

Motherfucker, I've been trying to do that to you and all of our friends for the past 4 years I've been here but I've just been getting ignored because fuck me, right? Fuck the friend in Canada who you said you'd all miss. Fuck that guy who had the time and money to send one of our friends a gift from Canada all the way to wasteland Philippines JUST BECAUSE he wanted to make a friend happy and that same friend never bothered talking to him again. Fuck that guy who's trying to reconnect friendships with classmates from days gone by and didn't even get invited to hang out by a majority of these "friends who'll miss him" when said friend just so happened to visit. Fuck that guy, right?

I see the thought and I can appreciate that, but really, when someone comes to talk to you on the brink of easily killing themselves and you "don't realize it" because you're too busy to even chat with someone, maybe it's best to not tell others that you'll listen.

It's social media activism all over again. You can easily say "I'm always open to listen" but when someone talks, none of you listen. Because god knows, we need more deaf ears.

April 8, 2017


I miss the view, man. When everything was so much better.

I wish I was better at what I do back then.