Things I See - Bowel Grenade

In June of 2013, I worked in Shoppers Drug Mart. Anyway, as I was stocking the shelves, I noticed this as I was putting products on to the shelves.

"Bowel Buddy - Grenade Flavor"

Somehow that doesn't really sound appealing. Something that says "Grenade" doesn't go well with something that goes into your bowels. I don't really want anything that would cause an explosive reaction in my toilet.

(Yes, I know this is the French side as almost every product in Canada has to have a French translation of anything written on the product. I know pomegranate in French is "grenade".)

Things I See - The Ralph Rule

In TomasinoWeb, my old organization, the higher ups (i.e. just the VP for Human Resources) decided to make a set of rules for the org room just to show that  non-members can't just barge in and get free wifi, therefore hindering actual TomasinoWeb members from using the org room.

OH WAIT.

That totally happened, goddamn it!

In TomasinoWeb, my old organization, the higher ups (i.e. just the VP for Human Resources) decided to make a set of rules for the org room just to show that, yes, we're not just about having fun. We have fun most of the time. We do follow rules.

These 22 rules tell the average new member about the culture of TomasinoWeb. Each organization has their own culture and TomasinoWeb was no different. Here's a part of it.

Read rule #16.

"Thou shall not cite libelous words against CTHM girls."

That is the Ralph Rule.

It came from my constant joking of CTHM (College of Tourism and Hospitality Management) girls. Jokes that I can't say here without legal repercussions because this is written. If it were spoken word and not recorded, it's all legal. Sort of. My knowledge of law is messed up right now.

I may or may not have said a couple of jokes about CTHM girls but come on, "libelous words"? I think not. I can be bitter, horrible, biased, misinformed, and a bastard. BUT LIBELOUS? Hold your tongue, dear.

...Okay, I may have said one too many jokes for the Ralph Rule to happen. But I still won't apologize. Never!

Things I See - Moose Droppings

In May 30, I was hanging out with my friend who visited me from Delaware. Her family treated me to a trip to the aquarium. As we were about to leave, we were browsing the gift shop there and then I saw this.

I really don't see how something like "moose droppings" can be appetizing to some people, let alone be a good name for chocolates. It clearly says "Belgian chocolate covered almonds" at the bottom but why call it something that came out of a moose's ass?

Clearly, that can't be taken out of context.

"Hey bro, do you have any moose droppings here? I got a hankering for them."

Of course, I didn't buy them. Why would I want to be walking around with a bag of moose droppings? Unless I'm setting it on fire and leaving it on someone's doorstep, I really don't plan on buying it anytime soon  just because of the name.

This is coming from someone who's from a country that eats different parts of chicken, including the blood and intestines. But droppings? No way, brother! There's a line we don't cross. And that line is shit.

Things I See - I Needed This

Back in my college days, I was quite an emotional mess. Well, I still am but I'm Canadian now so it's different. I needed to buy food just so I have stuff to do. That's why I'm so large now. When I'm bored, I eat and I'm bored A LOT. So I was feeling down in the dumps that night. I hated the organization. I hated some people. I was still not over a girl I really liked. I needed a drink but this was before I was constantly getting drunk after class.

So I go to a milk tea place called Moonleaf. It's one of those expensive milk teas because... I don't really know why. When you order in Moonleaf, they have to get your name but I didn't feel like giving out my name and I was grumpy.

When my tea was done, I got it and this was written on the cup.

This actually helped me improve my mood that night. I needed a smile and it didn't matter who gave it to me. I smiled because someone drew a smile on my milk tea cup. Yeah, that's how messed up I was at that time.

Things I See - I Am A Man!

One of the most hilarious things I've seen in Canada are adult stores.

Back in the Philippines, these things were usually sold under the table with you having to know that a specific store sold those. I remember a magic shop in Greenhills that sold adult stuff right behind the products displayed in front of the store. A few steps in and you'll be able to see the good stuff. Cheaply made good stuff but still.

But in Canada, it's just sold out in the open with display windows and stuff. I'm not against this but come on, if you see someone enter there, you'd think he's a damn pervert. We perverts don't go public with our perversions.