A few days ago, I remember doing a little fun Facebook challenge where you come up with one way to introduce your friends. Someone comments and then you deliver a paragraph or two on how you'd introduce them. I thought, hey, this could be fun. I had some friends comment and, no disrespect, I wish a lot more commented though. Would've been a great writing exercise and it's clearly the only exercise I take. It took me around 10 minutes to finish up a little scenario and I really enjoyed it because I can tell I still have bits and pieces of creativity remaining after years of cynicism and suicidal thoughts.
What I don't like is how I can't transfer this little creativity I have to something more expansive. I wanna write novels, memoirs, compilations of short stories but I can't finish them because I can't focus. I can't try to make things unique. The tone is all over the place with the novels I write and I hate it. I wanna work on it. How the hell am I going to get published if I can't type anything, goddamn it?
Maybe I haven't found my writing voice yet. Maybe I never will. Maybe I never had one to begin with.