May 15, 2016

2am 4 years later

A friend told me to find my happy place. My only happy place is somewhere I've never been to.

You know those lyrics? "Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend. Somewhere along in the bitterness." Those lyrics that are always familiar to anyone who listens to them?

Maybe, just maybe, in an alternate universe, that was the song played in room 116 on Valentine's Day. And things went right. And things didn't go the way that reality played. And everything about you and I wouldn't be terrible. Ha. Too good to be true. Stuck in that moment again whenever things go wrong.

Strangely, I only wanna see you again as a phantom. Because phantoms can't hurt me. A blink of an eye and they're gone. That's as close as I'll get to seeing you again, I know.

No use thinking about phantoms but that's the best I can do nowadays. And it kills me that you're not in my reality. And it kills me that I can't replace you, no matter how long it's been.

Whatever. Whatever. At least that's what you told me.