January 31, 2016

The Phantom K

(Continuation of this post.)

I know I shouldn't be thinking about that girl. I know I shouldn't even be acknowledging her on my website. But I can't help it. I admitted that I would never forget her. As much as I try, she'll always be on the back of my mind as the essential girl, as creepy as it sounds. Oh god, it does sound creepy coming from me. It always does but goddamn it, I can't help it. This is what it's like in a post-Pink Puppy world. 

Maybe I just need to meet a phantom of her. A body double. I do remember seeing a blonde version of her in 2014 and I couldn't say hi because that'd be creepy. As if I was never not creepy. But still, I wanna meet a girl who looks like the girl who broke my heart, as weird and horrible as it sounds. I don't know. I still have her in this pedestal that maybe, JUST MAYBE, as long as she's single, I have a chance. Even though I can deny that I'll never talk to her again. Even though I could always spout the same old lies about moving on from her. Maybe if I meet someone who's just like her. The Phantom K.

The Phantom K will look like her, sound like her, and act like her but the only thing different is that she'll actually like me back. Pahahaha. Maybe in an afterlife. Or maybe in my dreams. I don't know.

Why am I even talking about this here?