December 30, 2016

An Informal View of Filipino Politics

The news is never perfect and it’s always a terrible to see politics show the worst in people. That’s why it’s always a horrible idea to look at the comment section of anything related to the Philippines. It’s always someone either spewing “Pinoy Pride” all over or someone saying they’re “Yellow”. Literally anything yellow could trigger them into a frenzy.

“Oh disregard this person’s opinion because they’re not on our side in this political West Side Story!” Lemme rephrase that because that sounds too smart for these insane lunatics. “Booo, yellow, booo, you apologist! Go away!” That’s why people disregard the opinions of these people because they’re rabid lunatics who can’t take any form of dissenting opinion lightly.

“Hey, I don’t necessarily agree with the president’s stance on such-and-so.”
“BOOO! YOU’RE YELLOW, THAT’S WHY YOU’RE LIKE THAT! You’re paid to say negative things about the president!”

“Hey, these killings are really getting disturbing.”
“BOOO! Yellow! You’re just paid to say that! It’s not actually disturbing! It’s right!”

And excuse me, when was it ever a good idea to listen to the bile that Vice President-hating dancer blogger spews out? The big reason they listen to whatever she says is because she’s hot. Take that away and what do you have? Just another blogger that no one will listen to. Yes, claim that she’s smart. Sure. You do you, buddy boy. I can claim to be an intellectual who runs a blog because hey, I have one. She basically runs a fangirl blog who attacks other fandoms because that current fandom is now being an annoying pack of angry drunks who are ready to ditch foreign aid because “THE UNITED STATES IS DESTABILIZING US WITH NANOMACHINES AND METAL GEAR!” As if the United States have nothing better to do than pick on the Philippines when it has other, more important issues to deal with.

That’s why no one takes any of these fanatics seriously. That’s why the country’s an even bigger shithole than it was before. It’s divided more than ever between the people who have some sense of calmness and reasoning, and the people who would believe that the whole world is conspiring against them because these people have been watching too many soap operas to actually believe anything coherent. Say something negative about their president and how he runs his government or something positive about the vice president and get ready to be verbally lynched. It’s this hunt for constant boogeymen that give these lunatics the drive to feel intellectual.

“Do we need freedom or do we need discipline?” says blogger. Do we really need people creating conspiracy theories and making stupid statements, pretending the whole world is out to get them? Or do we need people to stop believing in this notion that journalists are paid by people because they report on the negative things about the country. They’re reliable because they’ve been on the journalism path for years and now, just because these idiots agree with them, it’s instantly fake news? I’d rather listen to someone who’s been studying journalism and have been working with companies for years rather than some blogger who just got lucky and triggered a nation into believing that “we need discipline”, like she knows better.

So anyone who has a dissenting opinion against their beloved president is seen as paid off, irrelevant, “Yellow”. It’s “with us or against us” now when it comes to these people. It’s not like we can actually, you know, discuss things to make things better. No, of course not. Fanatics on Facebook HAVE to post about how the media is “against” the president, as if the media treated former presidents like absolute Mother Teresa doppelgangers before.

Oh, have I offended you? Has the big mean English speaking man offended you? “Mr Ralph Corleone, the next time you visit the Philippines, I hope you get killed!” Do you think I wouldn’t like that? Bring it. Because that’s what’s wrong with these stupid people. It all gets personal with them. A journalist or a rival politician’s private life is fair game to these imbeciles because they always want to reach something that will make them feel better in a “holier than thou” way. I can Ad Hominem with the best and the rest, baybay.

No politician is perfect. No good country is run without freedom of speech and freedom of the press. Opposing opinions are how we get new ideas, views, and compromises. But what do I know, I don’t have 4 million blind followers.

December 28, 2016

I love my Christmas weekend~!



I recently got a three-day weekend from December 24 to 26. I've been celebrating it on my own because my family doesn't do Christmas anymore because reasons. See, instead of just being miserable and sleeping as usual, I took the time to make it worthwhile, at the cost of my wallet.

I did my Christmas shopping before the weekend so of course it's more geeky stuff for me to use.

THE SOUND WILL RIIIIIISE!

I bought a cool speaker that's modeled after an NES controller from EB Games so that's something for my laptop really. Downside of that is it has 4 grills but only one side has the sound. It's still mighty loud but I thought it'd be 4 sides of sound. The best way to test speakers is by playing promos of The Ascension.


I also bought a kids replica of a WWE United States Championship belt. Why? Because I love wrestling, goddamn it. This is only my second belt ever. I gave my first belt which was a WWE Tag Team Title replica to a friend of mine back in 2013 as a sign of awesome friendship.


I stayed an extra hour at work because it got busy and my boss told me too. Not that I didn't like it since it's still money, right? Gotta pay for more title belts somehow.

After leaving work, I wanted to do some window shopping. I didn't wanna buy anything else though. I just wanted to look around for fun before my 3 day weekend of self-destruction fun. 

December 10, 2016

Ralph's Writing Collection - CTHM Stalking Exercise

"What's this, Ralphy? Did you just really stalk that Krisly girl in 2011?"

NO. OKAY, CONTEXT FOR THIS ONE!

In 2011, for Literature 208 class, we were given an assignment of stalking someone and writing about them. Only rules were that we shouldn't have been seen and we shouldn't know the person. The subject didn't have to be anyone of the opposite gender. I remember the professor who gave this assignment - let's call them Hot Coldman - told us that he wrote about an old man in the park. I thought it was a huge waste of time but hey, what can I do? It was required. I think I had some classmates cheat and say they stalked each other but I can't confirm that since I was just eavesdropping. I didn't have time to do this assignment nor did I want to get arrested for stalking because I'm not good in stealth. I'm no Solid Snake.

Mr Coldman: "Ralph, why's your stalking exercise late?"
Me: "Kept you waiting huh?"



I went the fictional route instead and used a style that was similar to the monologues from Max Payne. Only problem was that I had to make it believable. I didn't have to but making it too vague would kill the "realism". Then again, Mr Coldman wasn't stalking me so I can get away with it. So I went ahead and pretended to stalk a tourism girl from the university. Emphasis on "pretended". I just wrote this in my dining room while listening to a lot of Tegan and Sara. "I was nineteeeeen, call me!" No, I didn't stalk anyone for that matter. I just used a photo of a certain tourism girl/crush of mine for reference. Because I'm a sick guy! *thumbs up*

Anyway, to the post!
-----

November 30, 2016

Repost

"No. I'm not gonna give you closure. You don't get that. You have to live with the shitty thing you did for the rest of your life. You have to know that it's never, ever going to be okay."

More hard drive discoveries. This time, 2 photos from Krisly I thought I deleted years ago! Because, ha ha, she's the reason why you're broken and dead inside, Ralphy!

First image from 2013 is of something I thought she threw away. Surprisingly, the last time I talked to her, she had it because she's not heartless. If that's the case, and I'm the first king of Westeros.

Second image is from 2011. An in-joke. Because of that old meme of "Watch out, we got a badass over here." Yeah, I don't get it but it just happened. She photoshopped the meme's face onto a photo of her for... I don't know what reason.

I could easily say I'm gonna delete (DELETE! DELETE! DELETE!) these. But you know I'm not. Because I can't. Because reasons.




November 21, 2016

Life Is Strange - There's Always A Lighthouse



Don’t mind me, just doing the token review while working on a screenshot Let’s Play just to show I’m not that inactive here.

Okay, that sounded weird. Lemme rewind that.


If you’re like me, you know you love alternate timelines. A cavalcade of possibilities and finding out the consequences. The question “What if?” being constantly asked whether it’s in video games, literature, or real life, at least until the depression meds kicks in. If only we can rewind after we realized we fucked up. There has to be a better way!

Mobilicity


Well, that's depressing to see on my Facebook news feed. It's expected after seeing news of it on May of this year. I just wish it didn't have to be like this.

You've been wonderful. Never had a bad experience using your service.

Great things must come to an end though. I wish it never had do. Otherwise, I'd still be working there, loving every day of it, and getting great service.

Goodbye to the company that gave me the best job in the world. I always miss seeing the network name on my phone.

Goodbye, Mobilicity. I was loyal to you until the very end.


Let's Play - "Seen" by Polychroma Games (Part 2)

Theme music!
Okay, so we made a friend last time and she seems nice. I mean, she hasn't been mean to us but what do we know? Chemistry class is the easiest class ever since the teacher is lazy in giving homework.

Let's Play - "Seen" by Polychroma Games (Part 1)

Theme music!

I was at a self-imposed conundrum last time because I had to come up with a name for Nicole Tyler. The problem I have with the name is that I just know too many Nicoles plus I'd just be wasting the "Rename Nicole" feature I had. I can't use the old name I typed in before because that'd just be retreading water and no one else would get it but me. Plus, I'd have to use the picture again. Oh god.

Another problem was that picking Max Caulfied from the game Life Is Strange wouldn't make sense either. I've played this game several times and Nicole Tyler is way more different than Max Caulfield. I've played Life Is Strange and found that it would just ruin the experience because out-of-character Max would ruin immersion. I'm probably just overthinking this.

November 20, 2016

Let's Play - "Seen" by Polychroma Games (Intro)

Seen by Polychroma Games is my watered down equivalent to the film 500 Days of Summer. It's a love/hate relationship. I love the game but at the same time, I hate thinking about it because it's reminds me of things that'll never happen. Maybe because I'm a dramatic weirdo. See, I made the genius mistake of using the photo and name of a girl I used to like instead of the default name, which just made the game even worse for me. Basically, this game became my misery simulator.

If you're curious, here's my review once again because I like plugging the hell out of that review.

As much as I hounded the praises of this game months ago, I'd like to play it again for my blog because I am slowly hating it the more I play it. Not because it cuts too deep - you can't cut deeper when you've hit bone. I'm over the emotional tug of the game, I've taken my medication and anything to make me not be depressed, and now I can definitely play this game without a hint of emotion! Delightful!

Enough talk, let me show you the game.

November 17, 2016

Playing Seen again

As much as it depresses me, I'm playing "Seen" by Polychroma Games again. I don't know why and it just depresses me too much because I keep using the photo and name of that girl I used to like because it's basically a "Talk To Her" simulator of something I WISH SHE AND I HAD BUT OH GOD, FATE IS CRUEL, FUCK MY LIFE, FUCK LOVE--I mean--Yeah, totally a fun game.

I'm considering doing a Let's Play of it here on my blog. For no reason. With names and all because I'm a fucking insane person.

November 9, 2016

Trump Card

Do you hear that sound? That's the sound of people who think the end of the world is near because the person who thought would never win the big popularity contest actually won.

Ironically, it's the same either way. It's only the end of the world if the popular vote didn't win. People crying and whinging about how they "feel unsafe" even though it's only been minutes and the president isn't going to declare an all out war to those who disagree with him.

They're mad that the war criminal who pandered to the gays didn't win. But really, that's what you get for calling people who have differing political views "racist" or "misogynistic", and goddamn has the word "misogynistic" been more overused in today's world more than your mum. They want to blame anyone but perhaps the overexposure helped in matters. The overexposure and the constant demonizing of people who disagree with you in small matters.

Cry as much as you like but it's not going to change anything. It's time to live in reality. Safe spaces won't help you. He's not Hitler nor Satan. He's a guy you disagree with. Simple. But you never know the possibilities. That's how democracy works.

You can't always get what you want, no matter how heartbroken you get, no matter how much you cry. And calling the people you disagree with "stupid" isn't going to help your case. It shows that you believe in the "You're wrong, I'm right ALWAYS" and the "With me or against me" mentality. You're better than that. It's only day one. You'll live.

October 2, 2016

"Superkick Party" by Suplex Industries - Elite Time Waster



As you probably realized, I love professional wrestling no matter how stupid or incomprehensible as it can get. I even love fun wrestling games even more. There are a lot of fun wrestling games on consoles but not a lot for mobile. Sure, there’s WWE Immortals which is a fighting game that should’ve been released on consoles because it’s that epic. WWE 2K15 was also released on mobile but it’s unnecessary since it wasn’t fun in consoles so how the heck would it even be fun on a smaller, less powerful device? How about a simple game based on wrestling instead? Yes, that’s something even better since we don’t have to play with more than 2 on screen buttons. Let’s talk about Superkick Party, a paid game on Android and iOS.

September 27, 2016

Fire Pro Wrestling Returns - We Didn’t Start The Fire



Whenever I’m not singing the praises of Grand Theft Auto and Dynasty Warriors, I love playing wrestling games. Sure, the WWE games haven’t been good since Smackdown Vs Raw 2006 and after being burned so many times, this march into perfect simulation since WWE 2K15 has been a march off a cliff. Unless I and a legion of other wrestling game fans are incredibly wrong, WWE 2K17 would just be average at best.

“Ralphy, you keep mentioning WWE 2K17, are you even gonna review it?”

I bloody hell won’t because I’m not spending $79.99 on a sports game, especially a yearly WWE game. Even 3 years ago when WWE 2K14 was released, I bought it when when it was on sale in EB Games for 30 dollars. Since WWE 2K17 is being released soon like how a rabid dog or a useless Pokemon is being released, let’s take a look at other better wrestling games. As usual, expect a bit more wrestling references so I apologize in advance.

September 22, 2016

WWE Smackdown! Here Comes The Pain - Shining Star



Whenever I’m not roaming around in open world games, I love to play wrestling games. I’m a wrestling fan and damn proud of it. I’ve been a fan for 15 years now. Sure I could’ve studied but oh look, “Stone Cold” Steve Austin is on TV facing The Rock! Gimme a hell yeah!

With WWE 2K17 coming out and most likely going to disappoint as much as Mighty Number 9, it’s no surprise that wrestling fans take these games with as much doubt as possible because of how burned they’ve been in the past. WWE 13 was okay but had a terrible unfixed glitch where the AI would kick out at one like superheroes. WWE 2K15 was terribly buggy and lacking in features from 2K14. WWE 2K16 was a baby step forward but it was still half-baked in terms of “modern wrestling simulation” that these are presented as. However, I would present the universal title of “fun wrestling game” to WWE Smackdown! Here Comes The Pain (goddamn, that’s a long name).

September 16, 2016

Ha.


Just an unused screenshot from my review of "Seen" on BasedGamer.

This scenario though? Never gonna happen.

Just my imagination running away with me.

September 4, 2016

Crisis Core: Final Fantasy VII - Zack Rider



There are three reasons why I bought a secondhand PlayStation Portable a few months ago - Disgaea: Afternoon of Darkness, the first Yu Gi Oh GX Tag Force, and Crisis Core: Final Fantasy VII. These three games have taken hundreds of hours of my time 9 years ago and I don’t regret playing them one bit. My social life probably died when those games were released but what’s done is done. I’m a blogger and damn proud of it whenever someone impressionable asks. Out of those three, Crisis Core has the best story, unless you consider a school dedicated to a children’s card game to be interesting. And here go the Yu Gi Oh GX fans pelting me with mediocre trading cards! I’m so sorry!

Full disclosure: I was never a fan of the Final Fantasy series until this game. To this day, this is still my favorite game from that series. I have played Final Fantasy I and II: Dawn of Souls on the Gameboy Advance and didn’t really like those that much, consider me picky. I tried playing Final Fantasy VII on my PSP through some PSP sideloading and it still didn’t click on me. Maybe I just have no appreciation for retro games with main characters with Scott Steiner/Popeye arms.

I saw an ad for Crisis Core on a Philippine gaming magazine and the words “Final Fantasy” turned me off. “Never getting this shitty game,” I thought. Months later, I got the game in my PSP and I was enjoying the hell out of it. I wanted to play something action oriented and Crisis Core surprisingly fit the description. I played Dirge of Cerberus (which I may or may not review in the future) and liked it because I pretended Vincent Valentine is Tony Montana with a cape.

September 2, 2016

August 28, 2016

"Seen" by Polychroma Games - Learn To Love Again

It really has been a while since I did one of these. I have been trying to review a lot more games but I'm having a hard time putting words together for games like Metal Gear Solid V and Sleeping Dogs. Not that I'm lazy, it's just real life got in the way ("As opposed to the fake life, Ralphy?"). Instead of talking about another console game, let's talk about Seen by Polychroma Games, a visual novel on Android.



"Seriously, Ralphy? An Android game? First, console games, and now Android games? Could you be any shittier?"

If you believe that mobile games aren't "real" games but you're okay with 300 8-bit platformers on Steam, then what's it like to be wrong? Visual novels aren't for everyone, sure, but once in a while, you can enjoy them for what they are - interactive stories. Sometimes, instead of using the Fulton recovery system on unsuspecting soldiers, gamers like to sit back and enjoy something that wrenches the heart and makes them feel emotions. Gamers feeling emotions? Sign me up!

So what's the story about? You play as Mark Blythe, a high school student who becomes friends with a classmate named Nicole Tyler through chat. Well, canonically, those are their names. I always have a soft spot for games that let you rename the main character. So move over Mark Blythe and say hello to Ralph Ricker, a new surname I chose because I wanted to use something else instead of Corleone for some reason. Renaming the character gave the game a more personal feel and actually drove me to finish the game. I clearly drive on my ego when it comes to video games.

You can change the default photo of Nicole Tyler to anything or anyone, just to give her a decent profile photo in the chat window. Also, you're given the option to rename Nicole Tyler but at the cost of 40 coins in the shop. So of course I renamed Nicole Tyler to someone else's name that I'm familiar with but I'll still refer to the character as Nicole so you won't get confused. Blurred out the last name and part of the photo so take that, lawyers.

There aren't any in-app purchases in the game however so you're only relegated to watching video ads and taking the occasional survey. The game never asks for money which is pretty humble of it. It's just the occasional full screen ad that bugs you every time you exit to the main menu. Humorously, available for purchase is a remake of the WhatsApp story "Annie96 is Typing" which is great fun for fans of that oddly creepy story. There's even a story editor that you can purchase for 100 coins, allowing you to create your own chat story, if you want to make your own version of this game's storyline. I still haven't purchased that feature so I won't be talking about it, sadly.


Going back to the game, the main menu and the UI where the conversations with Nicole take place certainly look and feel so similar to a Facebook chat box that you can take a screenshot and send it to your friends, making them think that the girl who broke your heart actually sent you a message after all these years. Ha! What fun!

You don't really get to type anything you want. You only press on the blank keyboard to simulate your character typing and the letters appear one by one. Basically, you're just simulating your character's finger movements since you're not picking the words he says but you're technically typing. Coincidentally, a black version of this blank keyboard called "Ninja Pro" is available for purchase on the SwiftKey app if you really want to test your keyboard memorization.


Before typing out the reply, you're given options on what to say to Nicole. In an awesome way of using the fake typing to further project emotion in certain replies, the words and sentences you type would sometimes be deleted as your character changes his mind on what to say. One part of the game has him type "Go fuc" to Nicole's ex-boyfriend before deleting it and saying "Sure" or "I'm busy". This is used in an emotional level later in the game when you can tell your character's heart is breaking and he tries his best to say the right words to a heartbroken Nicole. But he can't because he knows it's hopeless to reach out to her. And it's all his fault.



The dialogue choices you make do matter in the game as it affects future parts of the conversations. There would be callbacks to earlier conversations depending on your choices which is actually a nice touch. The story gets dramatic at times, even more if you renamed the characters like I did just to twist the knife further into your intestines. It may seem cliche but sometimes the cliches work. Sometimes people like cliches because those same cliches done right are what we emotional weirdos like. One thing I like about love stories is the depression (that's something I never thought I'd say). One chapter does evoke the feeling of depression similar to what's shown in the film 500 Days of Summer. And as your character tries taking everything back, Nicole takes it to a sad route - a route without you in her life. Yet the story goes on.

I do have a few gripes about this game though. First is the park scene. It's supposed to be a tender moment between you and Nicole but, given the limitations of the game and possibly ruining the messaging theme, conversations are still delivered in Facebook chat window with emojis. Now, maybe there are some people who add emojis to their verbal sentences - I'd like to find out how - but it does kill the mood of how this scene is supposed to take place outside Facebook even if it uses a background of a park. Just a nitpick but it's still a good scene nonetheless.

There's no music at all and if there really were any (please correct me if I'm wrong), they were really forgettable. The only sound you'll remember is the fake notification sound. Perhaps if you're dramatic, you can play some background music from your phone just so the scene can play out without the deafening silence, you emotional pansy.


I did make a playlist of my own to have songs in the background whenever I replay the game and want to emotionally kill myself by talking to a simulation of a girl who never wants to talk to me again for no reason. You're free to use these songs as well! Enjoy the story melodramatically! "Waiting For A Star To Fall" feels appropriate for one of the endings of the game.

One more thing to add. The game's main tagline is "What if life gave you another chance to learn to love again?"

...Do you ever get the feeling that one game got too real for you and it's all your fault? The game doesn't force you to change the names at all; it was an option you can actively take. Heck, you have to use fake virtual coins so it's not available from the start. Even if it's all fake, a simulation of a Facebook chat, you wish it'd happen again in reality, considering how badly she ended your friendship. You wish she'd talk to you this way again, like a friend, like how you used to be but that friendship's long dead. She's nothing more than a regretful memory. So the only satisfaction you get is pretending she's talking to you again. Maybe you shouldn't have changed the character's name after all. Yet you took that option because you didn't want to talk to the unfamiliar name with a generic flower as the profile photo. You wanted to talk to her just to make this story's impact more meaningful. You wish she were in your life again because of this game but she'd rather stay far from it. So you know this is as close as you're ever going to get now. Maybe in another life.

Oh, uhhh, sorry. Sorry about that! That was just an example of how the game could really make you feel if you immerse yourself with the writing. Definitely a wonderfully written game. As I always ask: Is it fun? Yes. For an hour at most, you're given this emotional roller coaster of a game.

"Seen" by Polychroma Games is available on the Google Play Store, which you can check out right here. Personally, I recommend watching 4 ads to unlock the option to change Nicole's name if you want to be an emotional pin cushion. It's a much better game if you add your personal touch to it. As the tagline said, what if life gave you another chance to learn to love again? Some of us don't have that chance so this is just a simulation of something we'll never have.

Now if you'll excuse me, all these emotions have made me wimpy and now I have to watch more WWE NXT.

August 17, 2016

Steps

I still have no clue where my life is going. Nor do I think I'm actually overcoming my depression. Haven't seen a psychiatrist since February because my old one retired so it's been totally fun. Self hatred never felt so good.

Does one really just go living day by day with no clue? Or do they stop and chance something? Then again, what do I know, right?

July 9, 2016

07/09

Well, another year has gone by and I'm actually 24 now (Gotta get used to typing that number).

Do I feel happy about it?

Strangely, I used to love my birthdays. 3 years ago, it was my first birthday in Canada and I felt alone and distant. 2 years ago, I felt like I was retired and was diagnosed with depression (which was a lovely birthday gift to have, next to a necktie and socks). A year ago, I broke up with a terrible girlfriend, which was actually a huge sigh of relief.

Well, it's not really been a good month heading into my birthday. There were days where I'd just felt weak. I know, it's hard to believe a big boy like me would be weak but I really did. It was like, I just wanted to keel over and heave heavily like a beached whale. There were mornings where I couldn't breathe right anymore. It didn't feel like allergies or asthma. It just felt like exhaustion (from carrying the big belly)

I haven't been sleeping very well since the start of June. I haven't had a full 7 hours of sleep because I impulsively wake up at 2am to go to the bathroom. That has never happened before this past year and due to the lack of continuous sleep, I've gotten headaches and had to sleep at 4am. Thank god my work starts late.

Because of the lack of sleep, I haven't been thinking well. I've been having more depression and anxiety episodes than I usually do. I haven't been to a psychiatrist since February of this year because he retired, possibly on getting too tired of hearing my stories.

I've been thirstier than ever. I could finish at least 4 liters of water in a single 8-hour work day. I've bought so much bottled water that I could tell you which brands to buy (Nestle Pure Life, Evian, cold Dasani, and cold Aquafina) and which not to buy (Naya, Happy Water, warm Aquafina, Walmart Great Value). This has been concerning for me because there were times where I've gotten a dry mouth and it led me to more drinking. All this drinking had then started to affect the way I eat. Two months ago, I could eat several rolls of sushi, three cheeseburgers, a huge box of rice and teriyaki beef, or a big greasy meal of roasted chicken. Now, the thought of eating too much demoralizes me to my surprise. I LOVE eating a lot but now I really don't feel like it. I just wanna drink more Coke and cold water.

After looking up the symptoms online, I finally might have diabetes. It's my own fault, of course, and I own up to every wrong thing I've eaten for the past 24 years. Bad eating habits have finally caught up to me. The oceans of Coca-Cola and Sprite that I've drank. The barrels of orange juice I drank in depression. They all finally caught up.

It's not official and I don't wanna jump to conclusions but this is a big guess I'm making. I haven't really gone to the doctor yet this past month. It's not that I'm lazy, which is the big reason I use all the time, but it's because during the day of my appointments, he calls in sick coincidentally.

I'm going to my doctor this Tuesday and hopefully he doesn't call in sick. I wanna know if it's official or not. I hate self-diagnosis and I hate jumping into medical conclusions.

Worst case scenario, I have diabetes and it eventually kills me. If that's the case, I plan on beating it. If I don't, well, I've had a fun life.



video
 

June 23, 2016

Scarface: The World Is Yours - The World Is Not Enough

IS IT REALLY? (Photo from MobyGames)

As I’ve probably said before in other posts on this site, I’m a big fan of open world games. I have a collection of open world games that I don’t wanna get rid of, regardless of wanting to actually play them someday. I personally love the exploration without actually going out of the house because it’s not a sweaty endeavor to do so. That’s why I’m always excited for new
Grand Theft Auto games because they’re tried and tested to be great fun. There are always those surprises like The Godfather which make me love trying out new open world games as well.


One game I personally got excited for was Scarface: The World Is Yours. I remember seeing screenshots for the game in a magazine and that alone got me hyped up for it. With something as simple as screenshots of men with guns and the promise of exploration in the pages of an old GamesMaster Philippines magazine, I know I’ve got an addiction for hoarding open world games. I even watched the trailers and
thought “Wow, this is totally a game that I’d play!” Consider me a fanboy of violence and swearing then.

May 28, 2016

Sink or Swim When The Sunset Comes

By the end of the year, I'm not entirely sure where I'd be - as would anyone in the world. What I have right now is a daily routine with comfortable seat in a ship. A routine that got me everything I ever wanted from baubles to technology. It's a good day as long as my head's straight.

I've been on this ship for quite a while now and I'm pondering a lingering question:  Should I stay or should I go? Darling, I've got to let me know.

The season's slowly changing and the days are about to be different. The ship is going down. The days will be longer and more agonizing with little to no regard for anyone. The shadows won't be the same.

In the words of the Tenth Doctor, I don't want to go.

"Stay then," says my conscience.

But I don't want to be more miserable than I already am. So I can't stay. Staying in familiar water would mean I'll just be driving myself loony all over again.

People make me miserable. People who come by the ship and demand outrageous things. I remember having an episode 6 hours before the year was stricken from the record. There's only so much stupidity a man could take in a regular day. It made me realize that the degenerates don't care about your well-being as long as they get what they want. "I know your day is over but what about me?!" What about you? What about me?

Maybe I'm just rocking the boat. The boat however is still sinking as each day passes and there's nothing I can do to change the situation. The choices I have in my head bother me. Stay where I am and wait for the new ship to arrive with more lunacy in the same dirty ocean, or go somewhere else that takes me to new places. Tough but fair.

Sun's setting, Shamrock. Make a choice. And live.

May 15, 2016

2am 4 years later

A friend told me to find my happy place. My only happy place is somewhere I've never been to.

You know those lyrics? "Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend. Somewhere along in the bitterness." Those lyrics that are always familiar to anyone who listens to them?

Maybe, just maybe, in an alternate universe, that was the song played in room 116 on Valentine's Day. And things went right. And things didn't go the way that reality played. And everything about you and I wouldn't be terrible. Ha. Too good to be true. Stuck in that moment again whenever things go wrong.

Strangely, I only wanna see you again as a phantom. Because phantoms can't hurt me. A blink of an eye and they're gone. That's as close as I'll get to seeing you again, I know.

No use thinking about phantoms but that's the best I can do nowadays. And it kills me that you're not in my reality. And it kills me that I can't replace you, no matter how long it's been.

Whatever. Whatever. At least that's what you told me.

March 11, 2016

Pokemon Crystal Version - Crystallized Memories



It's coming right for us! *gunshot* (Photo from Amazon.com)

When it comes to RPGs, Pokemon might be my favorite. Maybe I’m looking at it through rose colored glasses.

I remember playing my first Pokemon game - Pokemon Red. I bought the cartridge from my friend when we were in third grade for less than 3 dollars Canadian and I had that cartridge till 2013 when I left it in the Philippines. It was great that I spent more than 100 hours and more than 60 pairs of batteries just to play the game. Mr Bing still hasn’t forgiven me for taking his smoke detectors’ batteries for my Gameboy but I needed to get out of Rock Tunnel, goddamn it. To this day, I never actually finished Pokemon Red. I was too busy exploring the game. That is, until I played Pokemon Blue and got lucky by freezing the final boss’s last Pokemon. Take that, Blue Oak! Damn right I killed your Raticate, bitch! Smell YOU later!

Pokemon Red made me experience the Pokemon games but Pokemon Crystal made me love them for what they are - a grand adventure to become the Pokemon League Champion. If Pokemon Red was the main course, Pokemon Crystal is the full course meal with shrimp cocktail on the side. As it was on the previous games, you are a 10-year old who’s set on a journey. Boy or girl? Doesn’t matter, it’s all aesthetic. Lord knows why you can’t just go to school but hey, that’d be no fun. Going to school with all sorts of creatures at your disposal? Sounds like a Persona game. Scratch that, I’d love to see trainers in high school with their Pokemon. Anyway, fun ideas aside, you’re tasked to get a Pokemon from the professor next door and go on a journey for science, which means filling up the Pokedex and beating the League champion.

March 3, 2016

Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater - What a Thrill



I'M STILL IN A DREAM! SNAKE EATER(Photo from GiantBomb.com)

I don’t like playing stealth games, I’ll just say it outright. I just don’t have the patience for it. I hate waiting for enemies to move slowly and dumbly while my bullets are strangely not in their heads yet. It feels like they don’t WANT to get shot in the head. This is why I haven’t played games like Splinter Cell or Hitman that much because if things go awry, you’ll be in a huge disadvantage because you’re outgunned, outmanned, and outmaneuvered. These games weren’t really meant to be played as third-person run-and-gun shooters after all.

That’s just me though. I’m not saying they’re bad or wrong. I don’t hate stealth games; I just don’t play them because I suck at them. I hate indie 8-bit platformers that are unfairly difficult just because they’re “retro”. There’s a huge difference. To each their own, I guess. But as someone who doesn’t like to play stealth games, I wanted to try Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater to see if I’m old enough to play it. Yes, that was my reasoning. When I was a dumb 8-year old kiddo and still lived in The Philippines, I remember watching an uncle play Metal Gear Solid on the original gray PlayStation and I couldn’t understand anything. All I saw was “guy in bandana is sneaking in an evil military base while big marshmallow enemies search for him.” Oddly enough, I remembered that memory 10 years later when I first bought Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater.

February 5, 2016

Garbage Phones

In my line of work, I deal with a lot of phones that go from great to garbage. Great phones make me think "Oh god, I wish I had the money to buy that! I'm so jealous!". These are your typical flagship phone that goes from 300-700 dollars like the Samsung S6 Edge or the Nexus 6P. These are the phones I love to deal with because they're easy to use, they run smoothly, and they work perfectly with every network with little to no hiccups whatsoever.

Phones that are 5 years old, though, are what I consider garbage phones. It's not a classism thing where I discriminate people who can't afford good phones. It's just that these are the phones that aren't expected to work well anymore with networks that cater to phones that are 3-years old at most. They run slowly, they didn't age well, and they're pretty much useless nowadays unless you want a Samsung-branded paperweight. These are the kinds of phones that shouldn't really be repaired anymore because the cost of repairs would cost more than the actual phone.

There are always those horrible phones that sticks out because customers bring them to me and they expect it to work perfectly. Well, newsflash, buddy! It's not 2010 anymore when that phone would've been relevant. And when these phones don't work properly - which they won't, of course, because they're old - guess who the customers blame? The company! Bloody hell.

Let's talk about the garbage phones then.

January 31, 2016

The Phantom K

(Continuation of this post.)

I know I shouldn't be thinking about that girl. I know I shouldn't even be acknowledging her on my website. But I can't help it. I admitted that I would never forget her. As much as I try, she'll always be on the back of my mind as the essential girl, as creepy as it sounds. Oh god, it does sound creepy coming from me. It always does but goddamn it, I can't help it. This is what it's like in a post-Pink Puppy world. 

Maybe I just need to meet a phantom of her. A body double. I do remember seeing a blonde version of her in 2014 and I couldn't say hi because that'd be creepy. As if I was never not creepy. But still, I wanna meet a girl who looks like the girl who broke my heart, as weird and horrible as it sounds. I don't know. I still have her in this pedestal that maybe, JUST MAYBE, as long as she's single, I have a chance. Even though I can deny that I'll never talk to her again. Even though I could always spout the same old lies about moving on from her. Maybe if I meet someone who's just like her. The Phantom K.

The Phantom K will look like her, sound like her, and act like her but the only thing different is that she'll actually like me back. Pahahaha. Maybe in an afterlife. Or maybe in my dreams. I don't know.

Why am I even talking about this here?