July 30, 2013

Meet My Editor


Hi, have you met Timothy Baggins? Yes, I know that he's a pink puppy (let's not get into that right now) and can be seen in the background of some of my reviews. What you might not know is that he's my editor. He helps me put together videos when I'm tired of shooting at 2 in the morning. He's usually done by 5 and posts it on Youtube by 5.30. That's how awesome Tim is.


Tim has a sensitive side though. I caught him watching my favorite episode of "How I Met Your Mother" and he was crying.


Heck, Tim even helped me back boxes when I was still in the Philippines getting ready to move to Canada. I have the best editor an occasional reviewer could ever have.

MY Circle


For the past two weeks, I've been taking sessions in Vancouver for facilitator training/community leader. We learned a lot about diversity, sympathy, empathy, discrimination and a lot more that would make us understand what it's like being a facilitator that helps new immigrants and multicultural youth.

The facilitators made it great with their discussions and activities. Granted, not everyone was perfect but hey, I know they did their best and everything turned out well.

I've met a lot of great people there. I can admit that I've not been the most social there but that's just the cynical old person in me acting up.

But still, MY Circle was the best two weeks of my Canadian life.


Also, we had ice cream cake.

Things I See - Dave Molds

I was chatting with my friend Dave and we were talking about what we do now as jobs. He works as a child therapist and I'm doing lots of volunteer work in Canada. Somehow the conversation led to this.


The Kilig-Honesty Scale

Kung alam mo yang kausap mo ay may crush sa iyo (o at least feel mo lang kasi feeler ka), mag-ingat ka sa mga sinasabi mo.

Introducing "The Kilig-Honesty Scale"!


Ang honesty mo ay directly proportional sa kilig na binibigay mo.

Kung honest ka sa sinasabi mo at sobra yung kilig factor, romantic na yun. Mababaw na romantic pero romantic pa rin.

Kung sinungaling ka naman pero malakas yung kilig factor, paasa ka, for a lack of a better term kasi alam mo ngang may crush siya sa iyo, ayaw mo nga siya, at papakiligin mo pa? Ano ka? Dyosa?

Kung di naman totoo ang pinagsasabi mo at walang kilig factor, sinungaling ka lang. Liar liar, plants for hire. O kung anuman yung tamang phrase na yun.

Ang dapat mong gamitin ay direct honesty. Totoo naman ang sabi mo pero walang kilig. Ito ang kinakailangan pag gusto mong sabihin na wala siyang pag-asa sa iyo.

Again, first draft lang ito ng Kilig-Factor Scale kasi mahirap i-determine kung pinapakilig mo nga yung tao o ginagago ka lang niya kasi feeler ka.

Things I See - Fountain Drinks of Youth


Holy crap, I just couldn't believe it. When I first ordered a Quarter Pounder BLT at McDonald's the other day, they just gave me an empty cup and we can serve ourselves on the drinks counter.

Now, keep in mind that I'm from the Philippines where getting bottomless drinks would cost a lot more because people tend to get abusive. Not just us fat guys but people would actually sneak in jugs to take home soda and ice.

So when I saw that we can get as much drinks as we want for a dollar, I was thinking "Holy crap, am I in Heaven?!" and getting 4 glasses of root beer. That's how much of a culture shock it was.

July 14, 2013

Things I See - 50 Shades of Music


Why would a book even have a soundtrack? I know it's being turned into a movie but come on, it's freakin' porn. Porn doesn't really have much in terms of music.



Well, it can lead to gems such as that but when was the last time you saw a porn with licensed music? AND NO, DON'T ANSWER THAT.

It's just that 50 Shades of Grey isn't that great at all and there have been stupid women trying to persuade me into reading. I've already read it to see what the fuss is all about and goddamn, it's not that much of a turn on. I think I lost a brain cell or two when I was done with it. Hell, we make fun of that book in our literature classes as well as the people who absolutely love it. That's how much it sucks.

July 13, 2013

Ralph's Video Collection - Smear Campaign

Back in 2012, my classmates and I had to do a video/presentation reflecting one of Confucius sayings. So by default, I had to be the villain that went against it because why not?

The main premise of our presentation was that I was the big politician who was great and flashy and the other guy (Martin) would be the simple guy that had nothing to offer to the people. First we did a campaign video that consisted of me just comparing myself to people like JFK, George W. Bush, Bruce Wayne, and Tony Stark, among others.

Martin and I would go in a small debate but suddenly, a hacker somehow plays a smear video on the screen "exposing the truth" about me.

First, it showed surveillance footage of my "assistant" (a former friend of mine) leaving my room after she and I had a meeting "after hours", if you know what I mean.

Here's the "surveillance footage".


Now, a few things about this video.

Why isn't the surveillance camera on the ceiling? Why is it in body level? Who can see it? Apparently, not those two sex-heads.

That was just part of the whole smear campaign video that "someone" made.



The music I used here was from Persona 3 and personally, I think it went well with the fake seriousness the video's trying to deliver.

Okay, more nitpicks.

How could this be news when mainstream celebrities (and Korean group SUPER JUNIOR) have already known about it? Wasn't this reported to the news if those celebrities already know about it? I mean, those celebrities have tons of followers on Twitter who would share the news. Hell, it's been on The Glenn Beck Show on Fox News! How can people in the Philippines not know about this scandal if international news stations and celebrities were talking about it? Has the media really been turning a blind eye on this "scandal"?

Also, how was the video shown? If a hacker really hacked into the PC to show it, why was the computer online in the first place? If the computer that was showing the campaign videos wasn't connected to the internet in the first place, this whole thing could've been easily avoided. Maybe someone had a DVD or a VHS but who? Was it someone from the opposing side? Wasn't there someone guarding the DVD or the VHS player that was connected to the screen showing the audience?

Nevertheless, I enjoyed doing these videos. I enjoyed making the tweets and searching for clips to put together to make it coherent. The campaign video was good but making the smear video and "exposing the truth" was really fun. Editing them on Windows Movie Maker was really simple because they're all chopped up clips put together in the most basic fashion.

Ralph's Video Collection - "For Ralph"

I honestly thought I lost this video forever but then I somehow found it in the depths of my extrenal hard drive, hidden beneath the Coldplay music and Batman: Arkham City videos. I'm uploading it here so I would at least have a backup copy of it in my website.

It's a video that my friends made me in my last week in the Philippines. So I think I got this at March 25 and it still makes me shed a few teardrops whenever I watch it and hear my friends voices all over again.


(I actually did something similar for them which made them cry as well. Two can play it that game, classmates!)

July 12, 2013

Things I See - You Didn't Look At My Profile, Did You?

Now, there's absolutely nothing wrong with looking at past pictures of other people. It's always fun to look at how you friends were in the past. Sometimes it's good and sometimes it's embarrassing. Wait, if you put an embarrassing photo of yourself on your Facebook profile and get upset when people somehow see it, why the hell did you upload it in the first place? But I digress.

Although, in today's times where stalkers (like me) run wilder than Hulkamania in the 80's, it just feels weird to find out that someone is looking at your old photos. Not that it's a bad thing, it just feels odd when I'm on the receiving end of it (I'm not a tourism girl, goddamn it!).


Thank you, Gen. Thank you for looking at my old photos and going on a liking spree, you weirdo.
(Kidding, Gen.)

July 11, 2013

Things I See - Washing People

Doing laundry is one of the most boring things I do (aside from writing scripts for bad Sampung Sulyap movie reviews) so I tend to look around and observe details around the laundromat. I see a hole in the corner of the ceiling. A rerun of Jeopardy is on TV. And this...


There has to be an instance where someone tried to put another person inside a washer. I mean, no one would make a rule like that if it's somehow possible to actually do it.

Maybe this is one of those times where the manufacturer just said "Hey, people are becoming assholes and we don't want them to affect our machines. Let's leave a warning."

Now I just wonder how many midgets are killed in washing machines every year.

July 9, 2013

A message to all who greeted me on my birthday


It was originally on Tout but the video can't be put here. Odd.

July 8, 2013

Things I See - Adorable Seatmate

Yes, I love bickering with my old seatmate. I love bullying her. Recently, she mentioned about having an adorable bag.


"Bully man of Canada" is obviously referring to me. (I mean, come on, why else would I put that tweet here?)

And after a few more bickering tweets about her spelling and how the bag is adorable while the owner is not, she told me this.


I told her it just made her look like a jejemon.


...Okay, I sort of want to see that Dora bag now. Damn it, Rianne! You made me curious!

July 7, 2013

Things I See - I'm Sure You Say That To Everyone

I used to play League of Legends. Pretty horribly. I'd be the lowest level guy on the team and we were just fighting bots. However, I never let that stop me from being nice. I mean, come on, the guy with the lowest level trashtalking bots? Freakin' insane, man.

And then I got this.


It was nice that League of Legends players that I've played with considered me helpful even though I was just being positive and respectful to teammates. Hell, I'd even suggest "Okay guys, wanna finish this? Push the middle. SPARTANS!" and then we'd all charge the middle and win the game.

That wasn't really helpful but rather desperately wanting to finish the game because I just hated dying. I was the one with the most deaths and I eventually just stopped playing.


July 6, 2013

Things I See - The Hell's Wrong With You?


Something is definitely wrong with my friend Maden. Why would you browse for an hour here? It's barely updated and stuff! O_O

And clicking "older posts" is no excuse! Get help, girl. It's late there!

(Seriously though, thanks a lot. It's nice to know someone actually finds this blog funny. Although I still haven't started shooting for the Maden Miniseries)

July 5, 2013

Things I See - I Will Burn You

I considered putting tweets that I get from my friends and maybe putting old ones from my favorites that amuse me to this day.

This is the first one that one of my friends suggested.



I won't even go to the specifics of that because they can be found around the website.

What do I have to say about that?

I'll burn you, Martin!


Yes, I don't mind people reminding me of that time I did a lot of stuff for a girl that I like. Hell, I constantly mention it most of the time because until now, it does bug me and the only way to make the stupid memories better is to constantly make fun of it. So yeah, feel free to mention that to me.

And no, I won't actually burn my friend Martin because I don't have enough matches and gasoline I'm a nice guy. 

July 4, 2013

Things I See - I'm A Pro Wrestling Guy

I love buying wrestling shirts because I'm a big fan (literally) of wrestling and I like showing it off. The only way to buy wrestling shirts back in the Philippines was to find a store that sold bootleg ones (which would deteriorate rather quickly) or order online.

However, shipping would cost a bundle. I remember trying to buy a shirt from WWEShop.com and the shipping was 25 dollars, which was the cost of an entirely new shirt. That would mean I'd pay 50 bucks for one shirt.

Thankfully, I'm in Canada now and shipping is considerably less. The first wrestling shirt I bought in Canada is this.


To put some context into it, it's actually a shirt that references this lovely shirt (that I was never able to purchase).



When I was about to buy this who sold WWE shirts, I had a few things running in my mind.

People who don't know Paul Heyman would think that I'm a guy who loves him in a homoerotic way. My friends would probably question me about it, thinking "Who the hell is Ralph supporting?"

Thank goodness I saw this on my Facebook news feed.


This was the shirt I needed. No questions needed to be asked. It's all there and it's similar to a shirt that I really wanted. I ordered it as soon as it was released.

2 weeks later, I finally got it.


Yes, I am a pro wrestling guy.

July 3, 2013

Things I See - You Are My Best Friend

You've always been there for me. After class, when I get upset or just feel like seeing someone, you've been there for me. Through all the fun times, I always saw you to share the joy. Through the bad times, you'd let me share my misery with you. You are my best friend.

I can remember my last week in the Philippines. I met up with friends but they invited a lot of other people, leaving me as a background character and made me realize that they didn't care at all, not to sound egotistical (and I do). After that horrible incident, I looked for you. You listened. I was upset and betrayed. You greeted me with open arms.

I love you, vodka. We meet again.


...Oh my god, did I just write a love letter to my favorite alcoholic drink?

Well, yeah, it really is my favorite drink. In my last few weeks in the Philippines, I'd spend several afternoons drinking buckets of vodka alone or with friends at a small eatery called "Tapsi" outside University of Santo Tomas. Although they had a rule there: they can't serve students in uniform before 5pm.

For a while, I followed that rule and only drank there after 5pm. However, being a literature major, I noticed the wordplay.

They can't serve students in uniform before 5pm.

Realizing this,  I'd bring an extra T-shirt or dress up in one of my long sleeved shirts just so I can drink whenever I wanted.

Yes, in my final week in the Philippines, I was a total drunk. This would often lead to me walking/stumbling into the TomasinoWeb org room and ramble on. One of the drunk things I did was add that tourism girl I really like for about 2 years now.

Dear god, I love vodka.

July 2, 2013

Things I See - Bowel Grenade

In June of 2013, I worked in Shoppers Drug Mart. Anyway, as I was stocking the shelves, I noticed this as I was putting products on to the shelves.


"Bowel Buddy - Grenade Flavor"

Somehow that doesn't really sound appealing. Something that says "Grenade" doesn't go well with something that goes into your bowels. I don't really want anything that would cause an explosive reaction in my toilet.

(Yes, I know this is the French side as almost every product in Canada has to have a French translation of anything written on the product. I know pomegranate in French is "grenade".)