December 13, 2011

Ralphisms – To “Ralph” somebody

Ralph (v.) – to confess your feelings to someone you like but too soon and not in person.
Used in a sentence: "He just Ralphed her through Facebook! Jeez!"

Now this is something that isn’t supposed to be proud of nor should it be used at all because if you Ralph someone (yes, it’s a verb now created by me), it means you’re a hopeless romantic who wants to be loved but the girl you like isn’t feeling the same thing or the timing is wrong. Then usually, it’s done through text or through a social media site.

There are two parts on how to Ralph someone. First, there’s “too soon”.

I can surely say this because I’m an expert of doing things “too soon”. I’ve written papers on “too soon”. I’ve posted blogs about “too soon”. Heck, I even gave a talk about “too soon” (only not really, I just wanted to sound like Dustin Hoffman in Stranger than Fiction). “Too soon” is when you ignore timing and do whatever the hopeless romantic you see in the movies does. It usually ends in disaster. For example, Ted Mosby in the first episode of How I Met Your Mother said “I think I’m in love with you” to a girl he just gone out with in one date. That’s “too soon”. At least it was done in person, which meant Ted had the guts to say it and face the reaction.

The second part of Ralphing someone is to not do it in person.

Now saying “I love you” in the first date is popularly called Mosby-ing someone. To Ralph someone, you have to do it through non-personal means. For example, you confess your infatuation on a girl through text. I mean, come on! Who does that?! (*Ahem*) I mean, at least have the guts to say it in person! (Yeah Ralph from July 2011, have the guts!) No one says they like someone unless it’s the only form of communication they have, like the girl is on the other side of the world or something. Say what you have to say in person and face the consequences. Don’t text “I lied. When I said I have a crush on other girls, that was a lie and I’m sorry. There are no other girls. Only you.” (Wow, where did that come from?) Say it in person! It sounds more personal that way.

Basically, to Ralph someone is to text someone you like them when you know that it’s not the perfect time to say it or you two just aren’t on that level yet. Never, ever Ralph someone.